Page 115 of Dirty Like Zane
She didn’t answer that, but she opened the door wider. “You want to comein?”
“Yeah, I want to comein.”
She stepped aside and I went in, kicking off my boots. I walked into her living room as she turned on another light. One of her travel bags was still sitting in the hall, but nothing else was out ofplace.
I fucking loved Maggie’s place. It was soher.
Neat. Orderly.Pretty.
It was a modern condo, about eight years old, everything white and steel and minimalist. But everything Maggie touched turned to soft and pretty. The billowy curtains, the furry pillows and blankets draped everywhere, the twinkly lights strung around the fireplace andwindows.
It even smelled likeher.
A guy could sit down on that girly pink couch and just never want to get backup.
Which was pretty much what Idid.
She sat down next to me, and I noticed she was wearing sweatpants. Maggie never wore sweats. At least, not in front of me. They were pink. And she was wearing a soft white T-shirt that was falling off one shoulder, with a lime green bra underneath. And fluffy slippers. She’d probably only gotten dressed when I rang thebell.
Was she sleeping naked? Or wearing those silk jammies she wore when we shared that hotel suite inVegas?
She had no makeup on, and her hair was straight but a bit bed-messy. She had slight circles under her eyes, and she was kinda chewing on her full bottom lip as she stared at me with something like trepidation mixed withwant.
Fuck, but I was in love withher.
I just wanted into her bed and into her heart and I wanted to be all wrapped up in her and hang out with her in her pink sweatpants and watch movies with her in her fluffyslippers.
I wanted it bad… and I still didn’t know how I was ever gonna getit.
I still didn’t know if I’d earned her trust, and being not even three weeks clean didn’t exactly make me feel like I had a right to ask justyet.
We still had a long way togo.
I knewthat.
I leaned my elbows on my knees and stared at the floor and took a breath, blowing it out again in a deep sigh as I tried to gather my thoughts and not say the wrong fucking thing like I usuallydid.
I didn’t want to say the wrong thing, but I didn’t want to pussyfoot around,either.
“Just please tell me you’re not leaving thetour.”
“I’m not leaving thetour.”
“Why did you fly home? You didn’t tell me you were going. I had to find out from Talia.” I looked at her, and her gray eyeswidened.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t do it to hurt you,” she said, like she was realizing for the first time that it did hurtme.
“When I asked you to go,” I said carefully, “I meant I needed you off my bus. You know, so I could cool off. I didn’t mean for you to leave thecountry.”
“You said you needed some time, Zane, and I wanted to respect that. You needed me out of yourspace.”
I stared at her, processing that. “Look. I know it’s been part of your job for the last—what? Almost eight years now? But maybe you need to stop telling me what I need,” I toldher.
She blinked at me. She started to speak a couple of times, her mouth popping open and closing again before the words finally came out. “Okay.Ineeded to think. And to not feel like I’m there putting pressure on you when you’re fighting to staysober.”
“You’renot.”
“Zane. I know you. I know things about you…” She trailed off and ran a hand through her hair. “I’m sure you think I’ve been incredibly, overly hard on you, and I have,but—”
