Page 65 of Dirty Like Jude
Then he opened the car door for me and when I was inside, he said, “Drive safe,V.”
No one called me V. Onlyhim.
I drove home with a weird buzzy feeling in my chest. The truth was I had a mad crush on Jude, even though I didn’t want to admit it tomyself.
Partly because of the Piper thing. I had no idea if Jude knew or didn’t know what had happened between me and his brother in that kitchen, and if he did, I was afraid how he might feel about it—and aboutme.
And partly because he just kept hooking up with other girls—women—at a lot of those parties I saw him at, and never made a move onme.
Which made me wonder if I should really be so happy to be treated like Jessa afterall.
Did he see me as another little sister type? Because no way would Jude ever make a move on Jessa Mayes. He called herbratface, for fuck’ssake.
Less than a week later, Dirty left town on their first officialtour.
They were going across western Canada and down through the western States in an old bus, playing clubs and a few festivals. Just the band, Brody, Jude and a couple of crew guys they’d brought on for the tour. The day they rolled out, I went by their rehearsal space to see themoff.
Well, to see Judeoff.
When I got there, the bus was parked outside, already loaded up and ready to go. Jessa wasn’t there; for some reason, she didn’t want to come with me to saygoodbye.
I glimpsed Jesse disappearing up the steps into the bus, and from the noise coming out of it, I assumed most of the guys were already onboard. The only people who weren’t on the bus yet were Brody and the two crew guys; they were talking over by thebus.
And standing there on the curb at the edge of that parking lot, I felt hopelessly insecure in a way I didn’t often feel. I didn’t know the crew guys, I had no idea what Brody thought of me, and I wasn’t sure they’d even tell me if I asked where Judewas.
But then I saw him coming out of the building, locking up the door behindhimself.
I just stood there, watching him, unsure of what todo.
He started across the parking lot toward the bus, but then he saw me and halted. He turned and walked toward me instead, a slight smile pulling at his fulllips.
He had a few days’ dark stubble and wore a sleeveless hoodie over a long-sleeved shirt and loose-fit jeans. It was nice to see him out of his Kings cut. He wore it a lot those days, part of his duty as aprospect.
It was a spring morning, kind of chilly and dewy, and I was cold in my short skirt. But when Jude’s gaze dropped to my bare legs for a moment, it was worth it. He rarely checked me out likethat.
Or at least, I rarely caught him checking me out likethat.
“What’re you doin’ here?” he asked when he got close, but he didn’t seem unhappy to seeme.
I smiled. I couldn’t help it. “Just wanted to say goodbye.” He looked so cute, kinda cuddly in his hoodie, his dark hair a little sexy-messy in that Jude way of his, and I felt weirdly nervous standing there withhim.
Nervous that I wasn’t good enough for him, for this part of hisworld.
I held up the stupid can of cream soda I’d brought because I knew he liked it. “I brought youthis.”
He took it and smiled, his dimplespopping.
“I mean, I hope you don’t feel shitty… but just incase.”
“Thanks,V.”
Then he leaned in to hugme.
I bit my lip and my knees kinda quivered as he slipped his arms around me. Since I was standing on the curb, his face was close to mine. He looked so, so handsome, I was just staring at his face and kinda bumped my nose clumsily against his cheek. I hugged him back, awkwardly. But with the heat of his body and his soft clothes wrapped around me, I softened into it. I clung to him,tight.
And a wave of emotion rolled through me, so strong, I bit down on my tongue and squeezed my eyesshut.
I was surprised, maybe, by how sad I was to see him go. Maybe I was a little sad he wouldn’t be around to look out for me anymore. But more than that: I was going to miss him—likecrazy.
