Page 165 of Dirty Like Jude
“What is?” I said, tooquietly.
“Maggie. I see how you’ve been acting. The both ofyou.”
Oh, for the love offuck…
Here itcomes.
“Is this gonna be a problem on tour?” he askedme.
And shocked the hell right out ofme.
Hewasn’there to drop the ax on my career withDirty?
The ice in my throat melted and Iswallowed.
“Is…whatgonna be a problem ontour?”
Jude drew a deep, rough breath, then let out a silent sigh. “You really think I don’t know aboutVegas?”
Oh,Christ.
Jude knew about fuckingVegas?
The whole place was an ice palace, the coffee was hot in my hand, and I was just kind of floating in-between. I couldn’t even feel anything. Just hot and cold. My whole body was covered ingoosebumps.
“You think I don’t know where Flynn was,” he said, “whereyouwere, that night? You think I don’t see? You know I always know where my guysare.”
I swallowed again. The ice was recrystallizing in mythroat.
“You’ve been acting squirrelly as fuck whenever Zane’s in the room. Avoiding the studio on this album. Makin’ yourself scarce. That’snew.”
“I mean, if you think I shouldbe—”
“Zane hasn’t exactly been chasin’ skirts like a drunk frat boy on Spring Break, either. That’s definitelynew.”
He waited, letting that sinkin.
I didn’t know what to say. Didn’t know what Icouldsay to fixthis.
And Zane hadn’t been…what?
Sincewhen?
“Zane needs to get onstage and perform, Maggie. And I need to have his back. You know there’ll be pressure. You know there’ll be women. You know what it is to be ontour.”
“Ido.”
“So. Is this gonna be a problem for Zane?” There was a weird emphasis on the wordthis, which I interpreted as:Are YOU gonna be a problem forZane?
“No,” I said, pretty fucking offended that he would ask methat.
And yet. He had everyright.
As Dirty’s head ofsecurity.
As Zane’s friend. The friend who’d gotten him into rehab all those years ago, helped him get sober. The one who had his back at every turn. The one person Zane trusted most, literally, with hislife.
Honestly, the worries I now saw in Jude’s eyes were mere reflections of my deepestfears.
