Page 120 of Dirty Like Jude
He put his hand on the side of my face. His thumb smoothed over my bottom lip… and the world stoppedturning.
Then he leaned in and kissedme.
I closed my eyes, and for one lingering heartbeat I allowed myself to just soak it all in. The faint, woodsy, boozy smell of him, and his crazy-soft, liquor-drenchedlips.
Jude and his fuckingkisses.
Why was this guy always kissing me out ofnowhere?
I pulled away. I pulled my face right out of his hand. Because it was Jude, and the last time he spoke to me, he told me,You and me, we’re not goin’ down thatroad.
And, because I had aman.
“I’m with Blazer,” I told him. I used his club brother’s road name because I figured it would haveimpact.
Itdid.
His jaw turned to jagged granite. He made a snort-growl noise that was absolutely oozing with contempt—or maybe it was disgust. But I knew this information wasn’t new to him. I’d definitely avoided the Kings clubhouse and pretty much anywhere I might run into Jude over the last two years, but I knew he had to have heard at some point that Ben was seeingme.
The ice clinked in his glass. He took a swig, downing the amber liquid. Jude had never been all that much of a drinker, especially in comparison with the company he kept on both the biker side and the rock ’n’ roll side of hislife.
He was definitely loaded rightnow.
“What?” I asked him, already feeling exhausted by this game. “You want to fuck me, is that it?” I was only twenty years old and my relationship with Jude—or my non-relationship with him—already feltancient.
He glared at me. “No.”
“That’s good. Because I’m not fucking another guy while I have aboyfriend.”
“Good for you.” He sucked back his ice and crunched on it, and raised his glass in the air like he was toasting nothing. “Good for him.” Then he tossed the rest of the ice cubes over his shoulder and started to walk away. “Have a nice life, Roni Webber.” He slurred my name, and I grabbed his arm, stoppinghim.
He did stop. He stopped dead and just stood there with his back to me. My hand dropped away. He didn’t turn to face me, but he didn’t leave,either.
So I took a deep breath and asked him what I’d wanted to ask him ever since he told mewe’re not goin’ down thatroad.
“If I’d never had sex with Piper, would you have fallen in love withme?”
He turned slowly to face me, weaving a bit before he found hisfeet.
“Would you have thought about marrying me?” I asked him. “Making me your girl? Going down that road withme?”
He blinked at me, then stared me down with red-rimmed eyes. “You?” He chuckled, an ugly, ugly sound in the night. “You… Veronica Webber… are not the kind of girl a guy marries.” He stumbled a bit as he took a step towardme.
I stood myground.
His gaze fell to my mouth as he loomed over me. “You’re the kind of girl some guys fuck on a kitchen counter and forget…” His eyes skipped back up to mine. “And other guys never getover.”
I just stared athim.
I felt sick allover.
In that moment, I hated him, and I loved him so, so much. It ripped me right down the middle. I wanted to cry and shove him away and wrap him in myarms.
“Jude!”
Jesse interrupted, throwing his arm around Jude’s shoulders. “Brother, where the fuck have you been?” The way he leaned on Jude, I could tell he was drunk, too. “Jessa’s trying to leave and Brody’s losing his mind and…” He looked up kind of belatedly and seemed to notice me standing there. “Oh, hey,Roni.”
“Hey.” I looked into the dark, but Jessa and Seth were no longer there in thetrees.
