Page 119 of Dirty Like Jude
Every time I caught a glimpse of him, I tried not to stare and just ended upstaring.
Then, at some point in the night, he started staringback.
And my heart fuckingached.
Never mind that I was currently on again with Ben; I had a boyfriend, yes, but he’d never made me feel likethatacross aroom.
Or even right closeup.
Late in the night, probably a good hour or so after I should’ve cut Jessa off and gotten us the hell out of there, she got into a fight with Seth about God-knew-what.
I’d been looking for her, and had actually gone so far as to go out the front door (no one was in the front yard) and walk all the way around the giant house, through the trees that wrapped around it, just in case she’d ended up in the woods and passed out puking orsomething.
I found her in the backyard, just inside the edge of the trees in the dark, arguing withSeth.
I couldn’t tell what they were talking about, but I’d definitely seen her popping pills with him earlier and who knew what the fuck they were on. Jessa had tears streaking down her cheeks, and I’d definitely never heard that sad, terrible, whiny tone coming out of her mouthbefore.
I stood back in the trees and watched. I was worried about her, but I really didn’t know if I should interrupt. I didn’t think she was in any danger with Seth; he was definitely the gentle stoner type. But she was definitely wasted and she seemeddistraught.
“Nothin’ you can do aboutthat.”
I looked over as Jude came up beside me. He was holding a drink in his hand, and he was looking at Seth andJessa.
I hugged myself. It was chilly between the trees. “Do you think she’sokay?”
He looked at me in the dark, and I could just make out the stony expression on his face. The one that said,Like fuck I’d let anything happen toher.
“I should take her home soon,” I said. But I just stoodthere.
Jude didn’t say anything, but he just stood there,too.
So I turned toward him. “How areyou?”
He stared at me. “Thought you left,” he said, not answering myquestion.
“I’m righthere.”
“Yeah.” His gaze wandered down my body, and the way his eyes flicked back up to mine, kinda lazily, and he wavered on his feet a bit… I realized he was drunk. He smelled like booze, and I’d rarely seen Jude truly drunk. “You look good,V.”
V.
Oh, for the love of Christ. He called me V, like we were still friends or something. Like we were stillus.
As if there’d ever been anyus.
“You look good too, Jude,” I said. “Alwaysdo.”
Hedid.
He looked exactly the same. Maybe a little bigger. Every time I saw him he was bigger. His hair was a little longer. I knew he’d been patched in as a King, long ago, and I’d seen him wearing his cut with the Nomad patch inside the house. He wasn’t wearing it now. Just a blackhoodie.
Everything else looked thesame.
Everythingfeltthesame.
Including my feelings for him, which hadn’t cooled, or crawled away and fucking died like I would’ve hoped they would bynow.
Really, I should’ve known exactly what was coming by the way he was looking atme…
