Page 10 of Dirty Like Jude
“She’s not in until Monday. She does Monday, Wednesday and Saturdaynow.”
“Today’s Saturday,babe.”
“Yeah. This week she switched it toFriday.”
“She was hereyesterday?” I opened the dishwasher and found it empty. I started filling it with dirty dishes, rinsing as Iwent.
“I thought you weren’t judging,” she said, through a mouthful ofscone.
“I’m not. I’m not judging you. But Brody can’t clean akitchen?”
“He hasn’t hadtime.”
“Where ishe?”
“He had some stops to make this morning before somemeeting.”
“Yeah? How’s the albumgoing?”
I assumed it was going amazing, like every other time I’d asked. Brody managed Dirty, and they were an amazing band, pretty much end of story. Really, it was a courtesy ask, because I knew how important this album was to her and to Brody. Because this was the first time Jessa had co-written songs with Dirty since their first album a decadeago.
“Incredible,” she said. “Everything I’ve heard is incredible. I wish I could be more excited about it, but honestly, I’m just so drained.” She nodded at the baby on her boob foremphasis.
“Literally,” Iquipped.
She grunted, like laughing was just too much work. “How’sTaze?”
I couldn’t even help rolling my eyes. “The usual. He’s decent in bed, usually, but honestly I’m not even thinking about him when we're together anyway.” Yes, I went straight to sex, which I assumed she was asking about, because where Taze and I were concerned there really wasn’t much else to discuss. “Do you ever do that? Think about someoneelse…?”
“Someone other than Brody?” she said, like she had literally no idea what I was talkingabout.
“Of course not. You’re in bed with the man of your dreams.” I was in bed with the man of my dreams too, but only in my head. Because in reality, the man of my dreams was kind of a nightmare. “And this is why I hate you. Because you probably actually fantasize about Brody fucking you while Brody’s fuckingyou.”
“I do,” Jessa admitted. “But it wasn't always that way. I didn’t always have the man I wanted. I used to think about Brody when I was with other people. I know how that feels. It’s painful, not being in love with the one you’rewith.”
It was nice of her to say; she knew I wasn’t in love with Taze. But really, when had I ever been inlove?
I could count the time. On onefinger.
One incredibly stupidfinger.
I shrugged. “Usually, it’sreality.”
She glanced at me, but her attention was split, still stuck on the baby on her boob. “Who would you be in bed with if youcould?”
“How would I know? I haven’t found anyone worth replacing Taze for yet. When I meet him, I’ll let youknow.”
It was true enough, though it was kind of sidestepping thequestion.
I watched her for a minute, trying to eat her scone without dropping crumbs on Nick, fussing over his blankie, tucking in his little hands. The dishwasher was full, and I hip-checked itshut.
“Andthisis why I love you,” I told her. “You’re in the middle of literally keeping another human being alive with your life-fluid, and you still make the effort to follow up my casual inquiry about your man with the requisite casual inquiry about my man. As if Brody and Taze are in any wayequal.”
Jessa just smiled, but she was still looking at Nick. “If you care about Taze, you can consider themequal.”
“Jessa. Your man is devoted, successful, wealthy, and, you know, a grownup. Mine is a man-baby with aStar Warsposter over hisbed—”
“What?” Jessa started laughing and Nick squirmed in her arms. “Like, Darth Vader or Princess Leia in the gold bikini? Please don’t tell me it’s Ewoks orsomething.”
