Page 93 of Dirty Like Jude
“How… interesting,” I said quickly, my pleasant-neutral smile in place—before she could elaborate on any details aboutthatI really did not want toknow.
She took the hint and moved on. “ButI wanted this night to be, you know, X-rated. I don’t want him to think our sex life is over just because of the adorable little cockblocker who sleeps two feet fromus.”
I kind of snort-laughed, which was not something I did in mixed company. “Jessa Mayes. After all these years… you surpriseme.”
“I’mserious.”
“So amI.”
“That’s what he calls Nicky. ‘Our littlecockblocker.’”
“Adorable.” I tossed a black garter-belt-and-babydoll ensemble at her. “Try thisone.”
“Okay.” She headed back into the walk-in to strip down. “Hey. How’sTaze?”
“Oh. Didn’t I tell you?” I didn’t even look up from my phone. “I broke up withhim.”
“When?”
“Few daysago.”
“Are youokay?”
“Of course.” I glanced up to find her sympathy face staring at me from the closet doorway. “Come on. It wasinevitable.”
“How did he takeit?”
“Not well? He hasn’t messaged me or called at all. I don’t know… Maybe he doesn’t even care? Maybe he thinks I wasn’t serious, or I was just mad at him. That I’ll take it back in a moment ofhorniness?”
She raised an eyebrow at me. “Willyou?”
“No.”
No fuckingway.
Maybe it was having sex with someone else, someone I was so deeply attracted to, that had clarified for me what that whole relationship really was—andwasn’t.
But it was more than that. It was what Jude said about Taze. It wasn’t even that he’d cheated on me as much as it was the fact that I’d chosen to be with a man who had, apparently, played me like that.Again.
“Jude told me Taze cheated onme.”
Jessa stepped out of the closet and stared at me. She didn’t say,How would he know?Because we both knew how Jude wouldknow.
“Do you think he cheated?” she askedcarefully.
“I don’t know. I kind of assumed, though,” I admitted. I glanced at the black babydoll she’d put on. “The blue thing,” I said. “Definitely the blue thing. I give it five boners out offive.”
“Roni.” Jessa actually put her hands on her hips. “You deserve better thanthat.”
I rolled my eyes. “Obviously, Mom. But it’s not like he put a ring on my finger. It was never thatserious.”
“And that gives him permission tocheat?”
“He didn’t really need my permission to doanything.”
“That’s the thing, Roni,” she said. “The right man…” She hugged herself, getting all dreamy-eyed as she probably thought aboutherman. “When you’re with the right man, you’ll want to give him all the freedom in the world. And he’ll want to give you all his loyalty in return. You don’t have to live in fear that he’s going to cheat. The right guy would probably rather have his balls cut off than hurt you likethat.”
“I dunno, Jessa. Guys are very protective of theirballs.”
