Page 66 of Dirty Like Jude
I’d miss hanging out with him. I’d miss our talks. I’d miss his brown eyes, his watchful gaze, his abrupt, reluctant chuckle. I’d miss making him laugh. I’d miss flirting with him and just feelingsafewithhim.
I’d miss looking forward to seeinghim.
I had never had such a long friendship with a guy before, any guy, and not had it turn sexual. Usually, they turned sexual pretty much right out of thegate.
This onehadn’t.
His arms loosened around me and he drew back a bit, and when I looked up at his face again, his eyebrows drew together. He was looking into my eyes… and then he was looking at mymouth.
And then he kissedme.
His lips brushed mine, dragging my bottom lip down, and I gasped, surprised that it wasn’t just a platonic kiss… My lips parted to meet his as he crushed his mouth down on mine. His tongue moved between my lips; I lapped my tongue against his, and as I tasted his wet warmth, that unique Jude taste of his, I felt it all the way to my toes. I arched into him and he held me, gripping my waist as I teetered on the curb, his can of cream soda digging into myback.
And I realized, dazedly, as he kissed me, that it wasn’t that our relationship wasn’t sexual. Just because we’d never had sex didn’t mean it wasn’t intensely, deeplysexual.
With that kiss, he taught me things I’d neverunderstood.
Made me wonder things I’d never thought to wonderabout.
He made mewanthim.
He made it stunningly clear to me how much I needed him in mylife.
Whether he knew it or not, with that kiss, Jude Grayson was taking another little piece of myheart.
“Don’t go.” The words whispered out of me, powerless, when the kiss was over. I knew he had to go, but I said itanyway.
He just stared at me with that steady, dark look of his. “I have to go, V.” Then he kissed me again, on the forehead this time, lingeringly. “I’ll beback.”
Then he turned and left without looking at me again. In the moment, it felt like rejection. Later, I would tell myself, over and again, that it was because it was just too hard for him to look at me and have to walkaway.
We were friends. I knew he cared aboutme.
But I never knew if he needed me like I neededhim.
He had his brother. He had lots of brothers, really. He had Jesse. He had the band, his otherfriends.
I’d never had a sister or a brother, and I’d never had a friend likehim.
Somewhere along the way, I’d come to realize that not only had Jude become my friend… he was, kinda sadly, the best friend I’d everhad.
That, and as I stood there watching him get onto that tour bus, I knew I’d gone and totally fallen forhim.
Chapter Twelve
Jude
“We’ve got your package,”Con told me when I picked up thephone.
I really should’ve been happier to hear thosewords.
“Fuck.” I stood in my bedroom, leather jacket in hand. “That wasfast.”
“You wouldn’t believe how easy this shit was, brother. Kid is notsmart.”
I glanced at the time on the clock by my bed. Fucking 7:17 pm. “What’s yourETA?”
“’Bout anhour.”
