Page 21 of Dirty Like Seth
Elle
IfoundBrody in the hallway, alone, talking on his phone. As I approached, I heard him say, “I’ll call you in a bit… ’Bye, baby.” Which meant he was talking toJessa.
Jesse’s sister was officially part of Dirty again; we’d contracted her as a songwriter. But she wasn’t part of the audition process. She was home in Vancouver right now, which meant Brody was calling her every chance he got to check in and keep her updated. Because that’s what people did when they were acouple.
In what world did “friends with benefits” need to checkin?
I tried to just let my irritation over the conversation with Ash roll off. Right now, I needed all my irritation forBrody.
“Well that was bullshit,” I told him, when he looked up and saw mecoming.
“Which part?” he asked flatly. Clearly he was as unimpressed as I was with what went down in that audition—just for differentreasons.
“You,” I said bluntly. “Walkingout.”
“You know I’m not gonna do anything to upset Jessa right now,” he said. And yes, I knewthat.
And no, I didn’t blame him forit.
But that still didn’t make what had happened in thereokay.
“Brody, you’ve always been honest with me. When Jesse wasn’t… you know, happy, when we were together… you were the only one who was truly, painfully honest with me. So I’m asking you to dig deep and be honest with me now.” I took a breath and asked him: “Do you really believe Seth did something out of line withJessa?”
I wasn’t going to say the wordrape. I justcouldn’t.
I’d never been able to reconcile that word with Seth and Jessa in myhead.
Months ago, long after Brody had spat that word in Seth’s face, when I’d asked Jessa if she’dwantedSeth fired and she’d admitted to me that she didn’t, I’d decided that “rape” was most likely an incredibly inflammatory word for whatever had actually happened between the two of them, selected by Brody’s male ego, to sum up his personal feelings about thematter.
I’d never shared that theory withanyone.
But he knew what I wasasking.
He said nothing, his deep blue eyes fixed on me, and his face, well… I could tell he was strugglingnotto be pissed at me. So that wassomething.
“I mean,” I pushed on, “other than just be a stupid, lonely kid who took too many drugs and maybe fell inlove?”
“I don’t wanna hear about it, Elle,” he said quietly. Tooquietly.
“Too bad. He was anorphan,Brody—”
“You can save the poor lonely orphan story, Elle. I’ve heard it all before. From Jessa. And what he was was a grown-assman.”
“He was nineteen,” I fired back. “And he was an orphan. And an addict. And we were all hehad.”
“Where the fuck is this coming from?” Brody demanded, more than a little venom in his voice, and it took me aback. Brody had never talked to me like this, but of course, when it came to Jessa, the man was an overprotective bear. Always hadbeen.
“It’s coming from mygut,” I said. “Because I didn’t see a guilty man on that stage today. Didyou?”
Brody’s chest rose as he drew a deep, incredibly slow breath—maybe part of his anger management therapy. Then he said, quietly, “Jessa’s part of Dirty, Elle. She’s got a contract. Unless that changes, I don’t see Seth fitting in, doyou?”
I didn’t have an answer for that. I wasn’t about to stand here and speak for Jessa, like he was. But I meant what I’dsaid.
Why would a guilty man come back, and get up on that stage, in front of all of us, in front of the cameras, in front of the world, just to play his heart out for us and risk rejection all overagain?
Risk another broken nose, orworse?
I turned on my heel and walkedaway.
