Page 70 of Dirty Like Seth
“I’m heading to the airport in a few minutes. You know… I should get back…” He trailedoff.
“Oh,” I said, again. “Okay…” I had no idea what he needed to get back to, but suddenly I felt weirdly betrayed. Like there were all these things about his life I didn’t know, but maybe I should know… and yet, I had no real right toknow.
I was getting pissed off, actually. Anger; a knee-jerk reaction to him leaving and me not knowing what the fuck to do aboutit.
I couldn’t do anything about it. He didn’t owe meanything.
But I didn’t want him to go. Notyet.
“Do you have to go?” I asked, desperate for some excuse to slow his departure. “I mean, I’m staying a few more days. We could fly back together.” I’d been planning to stay as long as I could; maybe longer than I’d originally intended. I’d spoken to Woo yesterday, and he’d assured me I could stay forever. “Woo doesn’t mind,” I told him, though I knew the real reason I’d become so comfortable here, and it had little to do with Woo’s open doorhospitality.
It was allSeth.
“That’s not a good idea, Elle,” he said, his voice a little rough, but his gaze steady onmine.
“Why? Is this… Is this about thepictures?”
“It’s not about thepictures.”
“Did someone say something to you?” Shit, did someone call him and threaten him or something? One of the guys in the band? Brody?Ash?
“Elle… I don’t want to cause you any more trouble than I alreadyhave.”
“You’re not causing trouble, Seth,” I insisted. “It’s trouble that was alwaysthere.”
“I’m not making it anybetter.”
“Actually,” I found myself saying, “you are. It’s been great having youhere.”
“I’m sure Ash would see itdifferently.”
“I don’t care how Ash seesit.”
Our eyes were still locked. I couldn’t quite read the look on his face, other than the fact that something was telling me he did not actually want to go. He was just trying to do the rightthing.
And something deep inside me twisted inside-out.
“I want to thank you, for what you’ve done for me,” he said, in a soft, low voice. “Bringing me here. Talking to me. Extending that olivebranch.”
“You don’t have to thank me,Seth.”
Silence.
And yes, there was something in his eyes. Something he wasn’t saying. Something that was absolutely burning withneed.
It wasn’t the same need I’d seen in his eyes before, back at the audition: the need for redemption,acceptance.
This was somethingelse.
And I felt it,too.
“Thank you,” herepeated.
Then he looked away. He stood, and I watched him turn and head into the house. He hadn’t even drank hiscoffee.
And that wasit.
Seth wasgone.
