Page 19 of Dirty Like Seth
He raised an eyebrow, slightly. “You pissed atme?”
“No. Of course not.” Though I kind of was.Unjustly.
He looked around the room at my things, like they’d somehow tell him something I wasn’t saying. He glanced at my giant Givenchy tote purse, the one I always traveled with. “You still going toHawaii?”
“Yes.” Why wouldn’t I begoing?
“You know…” he said, still looking around, suddenly fascinated with a trash can in the corner, “… I have a couple of days before I have to be back inVancouver.”
Oh, God.Please, don’t sayit…
“I could come withyou.”
“Oh.”
He lifted his blue eyes to meetmine.
“I just… I need some time with Joanie, Ash. I told her… we’re going to go over my schedule and get organized, and…” I trailed off, because as much as Ash might be trying to kid himself there was more between us than there really was, he wasn’t dense. All I’d talked about for months was how badly I needed some time off, and now I was making excuses about Joanie and I needing time towork?
But it just didn’t seem cool to say,I need some time to lay around on the beach in a bikini and drink cocktails, and I don’t want to do that withyou.
“Okay,” he said, his eyes tightening a bit. He knew I was making excuses. “You wanna grab some dinner before yougo?”
“No. Thanks. I already ate a bit. And I’ll eat on theway.”
“You’re pissed at me,” he said. This time, it wasn’t aquestion.
“I don’t know,” I said, my agitation with both him and myself growing. “You should’ve said something,Ash.”
“Why? You wouldn’t have let himplay?”
“I don’t know. But it’s not yourcall.”
“No. It was Liv’s call. But if it was up to me, I’d let himplay.”
“Ash—”
“He’sSeth Brothers,” he said, as if I didn’tknow.
I turnedaway.
I didn’t expect him to understand. I didn’t expect anyone to understand,really.
No one else was there when Brody alluded to what happened between Seth and Jessa. Just the band, Jude and Maggie. We’d never said, publicly, why Seth was dismissed from the band—again.
The truth was, we didn’t reallyknow. Brody and Jesse had more or less decided it was so, and no one else really wanted to argue with Brody or Jesse when it came to Jessa. Dylan didn’t have that kind of fight in him, and at the time, I didn’t have it in me to challenge Jesse. I could barely be in a room with him if we weren’t playing music. Whenever the music stopped, I was gone. I’d only recently begun to hang around for any more than that, and mostly because of my contractual obligation to the documentaryseries.
Zane had tried to argue, at first, but it was clear Jesse wasn’t having it. He wasn’t having Seth in the band anymore. And from the look on Brody’s face when he’d attacked Seth at the church, Seth had been lucky he’d only been fired, and notworse.
I really would’ve killedhim…
That’s what Brody said as I held him, bleeding, just before he puked and passed out from the concussion he’d gotten, hitting his head on an amp while he and Sethstruggled.
So muchanimosity. OverJessa.
And I still didn’t understandwhy.
I’d asked Jessa myself, a few months ago. After the dust had seemed to settle and she and Brody were all blissed out on being in love, I’d asked her point blank if she’d asked Brody and Jesse to kick Seth out of the band—and she said no. She told me, actually, that she felt bad Seth had cleared out without any kind offight.
