Page 83 of Dirty Like Brody
I knew Dirty was on the lookout for a rhythm guitarist, yet again, since losing Paulie, but I had no idea they were casting such a wide net. Really wide, if they were actually considering opening the door to Seth again after throwinghimout.
“Yousure?”
“Yeah. Bringhimin.”
Brody stood there watching me for a longmoment. “Okay.”
Then he went to get Seth as the doorbell rang again, and I got ahold of myself the best Icould.
When they came in, I spared Seth a glance, careful to look him in the eye but not show a thing onmyface.
He looked mostly the same, and yet, like a different man than the Seth I’d known. The few lines on his face had deepened, the angles sharpened, and cute had turned to beautiful in a manly, rough-edged way. And he had more hair. Light brown and slightly wavy, it used to just dust his chin but now it was long enough that it was pulled into a man-bun on the back of his head, and he had a short beard. He no longer had that ever-present pothead softness to his eyes, though. They were clear and sharp, and when he met my gaze he smiled, dimpleandall.
“Hey, Jessa,” he said softly, rocking back on his heels, just like he had as a teen when somethingflooredhim.
I said hi and gave him a hug, quickly; a hug that ended before he seemed to want it to. Then I made myself very, very busy. Fajitas were simple enough, but mine had a lot of different steps to get all the seasonings and the sauce right, and there were a lot ofingredients.
“A model who cooks,” Seth mused. “Multi-talentedwoman.”
“She writes music, too,” Brody said,watchingme.
“Right,” Seth said. “How could Iforget.”
“Okay, out of this kitchen,” I said, waving them away, and finally they got scarce, heading down to the party room to talk while I got busy making fajitas. I tried not to overhear what they were saying; I couldn’t quite make it out from where I was, even if Itried.
After a while I turned on some music and tried to forget that Brody and Seth were chatting in the other room. It was just too fucking strange. And too much like no time had passed at all. Like I was right back there, smack in the middle of those difficult years, not knowing which waytorun.
Soon, I was lost in thememory.
It was far too fresh, as if it happened not long ago… which was maybe what happened when wounds weren’t fully healed, no matter how long ago they were actuallyinflicted.
I was hurting. And I could still feel that hurt, hot andfresh.
Iwashigh.
I was in a club I shouldn’t be in, with people I wasn’t supposed to be with. My brother was playing a gig across town. He thought I was home in bed. It was one in the morning and I was sixteen, but I was not homeinbed.
I wasdancing.
And I’d just popped somepills.
I felt the vibe of the room around me as other people got high, too. The music was loud, pumping, and it felt like the entire crowd was starting to rush, everyone caught up in the electronic vibe as it built in that way it did when the DJ was really,reallygood.
I was dancing with my girls. Most of them were also underage and shouldn’t be here. I didn’t care. I was thinking of nothing but the music, and my body, moving with the music. I didn’t want to think about anything else. Just themusic.
Then I felt his hands on mywaist.
Big, warm, possessivehands.
I turned around. Seth stood there, moving slowly, and my movements slowed to meet his. His eyes were hooded in the rippling lights as he gazed down at me. He got closer, gradually closer, until his hands had tightened on my waist, gripping me, and his hips were pressed against me. We moved as one, slowly, as his face gotcloser.
“Still the dreamer,” a familiar voice said behind me and I turned so fast the spoon flew out of my hand and clattered against Brody’sfridge.
Seth picked it up and took it to the sink, watching me. “You used to zone out like that all the time. Never quite knew what you were thinking, but you were an incredible writer when you put it onthepage.”
“Where’sBrody?”
He looked away from me, washing the spoon in the sink. “On the phone.” He dried the spoon and turned back to me, took a couple of steps across the kitchen and held it out to me. I took it and got back tocooking.
