Page 142 of Dirty Like Brody
“I just… I feel somehow… responsible,” she said as we sat down. “For what happened. You know… you and Seth.” Her steel-gray eyes held mine. “I just can’t stop thinking that I should’ve seen what was going on. You know, I was the girl in the group. I should’ve looked outforyou.”
I squeezed her hand, moved that she felt so much, and sorry that she felt like what happened was in any way her fault. “You did look out for me,” I said, smiling reassuringly. “Remember, you used to tell everyone at shows I was your sister so they’d givemebeer?”
“That’strue.”
“Believe me, back then, all I really wanted was a beer and to be treated like a grown-up. And to be one of you. To be just like you, really. To have the kind of respect you had from the guys. You were this kick-ass bass player; their peer. And I was… the kid.” I shrugged. “You were pretty much my hero back then. You and Stevie Nicks. You’re still one of myheroes.”
“Thanks, Jessa.” Elle sighed. “Seriously, though. I’m sad. I’m just so sad about allofit.”
“Iknow.”
I pulled her in for a hug, amazed that it was me who’d be comforting her at the end of all this—and truly humbled that I had the opportunity. That I could be here for her. That my friends cared so much, and that for once, I could be the strong one. Because as Elle wrapped her arms around me, I could feel the sadnessinher.
Elle had cared about Seth, once upon a time. A lot of people had. Seth was special; we all knew it, from that very first day Zane brought him home to jamwithus.
I wasn’t the only reason everyone was sad about everything that had gone down. I knew that. And I understood it,deeply.
I was sad about losing Seth, too. I alwayshadbeen.
It wasn’t my choice that he go, either. I’d given him his chance to speak up for himself. He hadn’t. He didn’t say a word to anyone in his own defense. From what I knew, Jude had told him he was in breech of his contract—which I still didn’t quite understand—and hejustleft.
That kind of made me saddest of all. That he didn’t evenfight.
But Maggie had told me that just proved he wasn’t right for the band. And maybe everyone else agreedwiththat.
“Well… if it isn’t two of my favoritegirls.”
I heard my brother’s voice and looked up to find him standing at the bottom of the stairs,watchingus.
Elle drew away, discreetly wiping a tear from her eye. Then she put on a smile, turned to my brother, and said, “Jessa and I were just discussing StevieNicks.”
“Yep,” I said,smiling.
“She thinks you and I should do a duet, a cover of ‘Leather and Lace,’ on the new album,” she told Jesse as she walkedpasthim.
“Uh…”
Elle grinned at me over his shoulder, then disappeared up the stairs. My brother looked at me and his eyebrow went up. “‘LeatherandLace’?”
“It’s agreatsong.”
“Sure. Not Dirty’s style, though, so I’m gonna assume you’re full of shit.” He crossed the room and dropped down on the couch next to me. “What were you two really talkingabout?”
“Just girlstuff.”
“Uh-huh.” He studied me amoment.
“Where’sKatie?”
“Upstairs,” he said, sprawling back on the couch. “Helping Brody out. He’s prepping like a thousand burgers for thebarbecue.”
I just grinned. My man was good like that. He’d always loved playing host, having all his friends, everyone he cared about, together under one roof; under his wing. Looking out for everyone. Keeping us fed andhappy.
I lay back on the couch next to my brother, tossing my feet up on theottoman.
“I saw you, at the wedding,” he said. “Talking to Elle. You were worried about her, about how she was doing. You’ve always had such compassion for everyone else’s feelings, instead of dealing with your own, youknowthat?”
It was my turn to raise an eyebrow at him. “You saw that? While you were having your first dance with yourbride?”
