Page 54 of Dirty Like Brody
I sucked in a massive breath, preparing to blast himforthat.
“She’s not a virgin, you know,” he added quickly. “Half the guys at your school havealready—”
“Shut UP!” I shouted at him. “Don’t talk about her like that. Youdon’tknow!”
“I know you like her and she’s fun to have around, and she gets you introuble,yeah?”
“So?”
“So, it’s my job to bail your ass out of trouble when you get into it. And when I see you walk into a party like that, I know trouble’s coming. I’d rather pre-empt that shitbeforeit hits the fan.” He got in my face again, forcing me back against the tree. “Get used to it and stop acting like a spoiled princess who can do whatever the fuck she wants without any consequences. I know andyouknow that you’re still a snot-nosed little brat inside, but guess what, sweetheart? Those guys don’t know shit about you. All they see is some hot teenage ass they wanna get upinside.”
“That’s disgusting!” I cried. “And I donotneed you to bail my ass out of trouble! Who the hell made thatyourjob?”
“YOU did,” he said, “every time you called me crying in the middle of thenight.”
“I did NOT call you crying!” I protested, embarrassed, but that wasn’t true. After the tampon incident, I’d just started going to him instead of Jesse whenever I needed something; I wasn’t even sure why. Maybe because he kept coming around, checking up on me. He was just alwaysthere, even when my brotherwasn’t.
Maybe because I’d seen what my brother had gone through for years, how hard he worked to take care of me and our mom, and I didn’t want to be the one to spoil all his fun when he’d rather be playing gigs or getting laid than looking out after his kid sister allthetime.
Maybe because more and more I’d felt like a burden in mybrother’slife.
But Brody… Brody never made me feel like aburden.
Untilnow.
“No? Youdon’tcall me crying whenever you need something?” he accused. “Crying to me about your mom always sleeping and Jesse pissing you off and every time some prick tries to get in your pants? Who’s there to swoop in and save you, Jessa?It’sme.”
“Then stop doing it if you don’t want to! And I’ll stopcalling!”
I stood there fuming, shuddering, just trying not to break down in sobs. I didn’t need this. I didn’t need a fucking babysitter. Where did he get off, thinking he was doing me some kind of favor by ruiningmylife?
He blinkedatme.
“I don’t want you to stop,” he said, and then, suddenly, his mouth wasonmine.
He kissed me, hard, forcing my mouth open… and as soon as I got over the shock of it, I succumbed to it. My bones went all liquidy as he shoved his tongue in my mouth, hot and strong. He pressed me against the tree and I clung to him, feeling lightheaded. Kind of like the whole world was spinning and somehow we were dancing and he was leading, and I was going with him, wherever he would take me… and then suddenly I lost track of the steps, of where his lead ended and mine began, and I was kissing him back… harder and faster, pushing back, tasting, sucking, wanting more. My body grew hotagainsthis…
And then a little shiver prickledthroughme.
I gotscared.
I pulled away, breaking the kiss. I stared at him as he panted, loomingoverme.
I could only guess how much more experienced he was than me, but I had a rough idea. I saw the girls my brother’s friends hung out with, and I was pretty sure Brody wasn’t exactly saving himself for thepriesthood.
And yes, I was afraid. I was afraid of that burning look in his eyes, a look I’d so desperately wanted directed at me, yet now that it was… I did not know what to do with it. I was well aware that Brody was no longer a boy, that he was a man; that he had been a man for a long time, while I was still fumbling around in that awkward borderland between girlhood and what lay beyond. I had no idea how ready I was or totally wasn’t for what would followthatlook.
He ran his knuckles, softly, over my cheek. “Jessa—”
“I’ve seen you with Christy Rempel,” I blurted. “Everyone knows she’s the worst kindofslut.”
Okay; that was maybe a slight exaggeration. In truth, all I knew for sure was that Christy, who was the older sister of one of my classmates, was nineteen, voluptuous, had her own car and an apartment, and a job. In other words she was awoman.
But throwing her reputation under the bus was the only thing I could think of to do in that moment to drive a wedgebetweenus.
“I’m sorry,” I said, mostly for the comment about Christy, but also because I had to get out ofthere.
I turned to run, but my stupid boots slipped on the wet grass again. Brody’s hand closed on my arm, hauling me back around to face him. “Don’t run from me,” he said, his voice all low and husky, his blue eyes soft. “No matter what happens… I’ll never hurt you,Jessa.”
