Page 141 of Dirty Like Me
I swallowed. “Same reason I went to see Elle, I guess. I don’t like someone you care about being in pain.”
He didn’t say anything. I still didn’t always know how to read his eyes, and it killed me that I had no idea what he was thinking.
“I’m sorry if I stuck my nose in where it didn’t belong. It just seemed to me that she needed to hear all those things you said to me, you know, about how much you worried for her, and—”
“Katie. I’m trying to tell you. I love you too.”
I stood there, stunned, just kind of gaping at him for a long moment. “But… I failed.”
“What the hell do you mean?”
“I tried to get her to come home. She wouldn’t.”
“Katie. It’s been years. If she won’t do it for anyone else, she won’t do it for you.” He pulled me closer and cupped my face in his hands. “I’m fucking blown away that you tried.” He kissed me softly on the lips. “What you tried to do for her,” he said softly. “For me. That means everything to me.” He took hold of my hands. “It’s only ever been me and Jessa, you know? Us and Mom, and when she died… a lot of people stepped up. Dolly. The guys. I know Jude and Brody would kill for me. Literally. For Jessa, too. And the band, they’re family to me. You know that. But I’m telling you, Katie, I’ve never loved anyone, ever, like I love you.”
I felt the tingle in my nose, the tears pricking my eyes. Was he going to make me cry?
“I love you. I fucking love you and I should’ve told you that a long time ago,” he said. “You’re always on my mind. You’re in everything I do. I could barely even get through the end of the tour without you there. It just didn’t seem to matter anymore without you. Even the music wasn’t the same, and the music is in my fucking soul. I just missed you, so fucking much.”
“I missed you too,” I managed, still in shock.
“I know I can’t make you stay with me,” he said. “But I can beg you not to go.”
He got down on one knee in front of me and that was it; I pinched the bridge of my nose and took a shaky breath.
“Jesse. Don’t you dare start begging me or I’m going to cry. And I fucking hate crying.”
“Okay. Then I’ll just ask. Katie Bloom, will you marry me?”
He’d taken something out of his pocket so smoothly I didn’t even notice until he flipped open the small velvety box. A ring box.
Inside was a plain silver band with one tiny skull etched into it.
“I know it’s not much,” he said. “It was my mom’s. The only thing besides us that my dad left her. And you didn’t seem very keen on diamonds. But if you want something else, I’ll buy you anything you want.”
I looked at it, at him, my vision swimming, and drew a shaky breath.
“It’s perfect.”
Jesse’s eyes shone up at me and he bit his lip a little. Jesus, was he going to cry now?
“You need to know,” he said. “If you say yes, I’m never going to leave you. You don’t have to marry me tomorrow. We can get married whenever you want. I just need to know you’re mine, forever.”
Then I did start to cry.
“I love you, Katie. I know you’ve been through shit. I know it still hurts, and it’s a giant leap of faith for you to trust me. But if I’m what you want—”
“Yes! Yes, Jesse. You’re what I want. You’re everything I want.”
“Then I’m marrying you,” he told me, and he slipped the ring on my finger. It was too big. He slipped it on and off several fingers; the only one it fit was my thumb.
I laughed and wiped tears from my eyes.
“We’ll get it sized,” he said, and kissed the base of my thumb where it met my palm.
I cupped his face. “I don’t want it sized. It’s part of you. Part of your family. I’ll wear it right where it fits, with pride.”
“You’re my family now,” he said, all choked up.
