Page 111 of Dirty Like Me
Maybe this was for the best, in a warped way. Maybe this was what I needed. Something definitive to help me digest the fact that Jesse wasn’t mine and was never going to be.
So he liked to fuck.
He liked having fun with me.
We got along well.
Those three facts did not equal a promise of future fidelity and happiness. Not when the guy in the situation had no interest in a future, or even having a girlfriend in general.
But how much longer could I pretend to Jesse that I was faking being in love, while the world got to see the truth, that I actuallywasin love? And when would it become obvious to him that I wasn’t faking?
As we neared the restaurant, I started feeling nauseous. I hated confrontations, and I honestly didn’t want one. I just had to see. I had to know. I couldn’t stand this waiting anymore, and clearly he was never going to tell me what the hell had been making him all broody and withdrawn.
And I just couldn’t stand to be made a fool of all over again.
That humiliating day at the altar had been more or less put to bed, but I didn’t need to live through that shit again. Once was enough for a lifetime. Not that Jesse was leaving me at the altar; he hadn’t told me he loved me or that he wanted a real relationship with me, much less proposed. But he was supposed to be with me, in the public eye, and if he was with another woman at the restaurant it might even be on the internet already.
I probably could’ve just gone online to find out who he was with. That thought almost made me laugh out loud. If it wasn’t so fucking depressing.
As Flynn spoke with the valet, I went straight into the restaurant. I didn’t wait my turn in line or pause to speak with the hostess. I spotted Jude up at the bar right away, and walked toward him. He started to get up but I didn’t wait for him either. I knew where Jesse would be. Somewhere tucked away in the back, in Jude’s line of sight.
I found him in a booth in the back corner of the restaurant. He was facing me and his companion had her back to me—and yes, it was a woman. Though it wasn’t Elle. Elle was a platinum blonde; this woman had brown hair. It cascaded down her bare back in soft waves, over the low-slung back of her dress. My heart sank through my guts, because she was a knockout. I could tell that much without even seeing her face. Tall, slim and curvy, with mile-long legs.
I stopped dead. Because really, wasn’t that about all I came to see? Did I need to see any more?
I hovered in the middle of the aisle, not sure what to do. On the one hand, Jesse would know I was coming. Flynn would’ve texted Jude, and Jude would’ve told Jesse. On the other hand, maybe I could slip out now and hop in a cab and just get the hell out of here without having to face him and his secret date. I started to seriously consider turning around and doing just that.
Which was when he looked up and saw me.
“Katie.” I barely heard it over the din of the restaurant but I saw his lips move as he said my name. He stood as I approached, and the brunette turned to me.
And yes, she was gorgeous. Like drop-dead gorgeous. She looked like a model. Actually, she looked like—
“Katie, this is my sister,” Jesse said, reaching for my hand, “Jessa.”
CHAPTER 31
KATIE
Jesse pulled me in for a quick kiss, then said, “Jessa, this is Katie.”
Jessa Mayes smiled and stood to greet me. “Katie! So nice to meet you. I’ve heard so many lovely things.”
I wanted to say the same about her, but Jesse rarely said a word about her. All I knew was that he’d wanted to meet up with her in New York, but she’d bailed on him, and he’d hoped to see her again in L.A…. Though when I didn’t hear another word about it I’d just assumed it wasn’t happening.
Which made me the biggest idiot in the world. Because all those tense phone calls… were with his sister.
Not with Elle.
Jesse had wanted to see his sister, really fucking badly, apparently, and here she was. And I was intruding.
“It’s… um… nice to meet you, too,” I stammered, blushing fiercely. “I’m sorry to barge in like this.” I gave Jesse a pointed look that I hoped conveyed an incredibly frustrated,You really could have told me.“We were supposed to have dinner.”
“We’re just having a drink,” Jessa said, pulling me into the booth with her. “You’ll just have to join us. I’ll head out soon and you can have your dinner.”
“You could stay,” Jesse said to her, sitting across from us. “You don’t have to rush off.” And there was something unnerving in his tone, some kind of vulnerability bordering on desperation, that I’d never heard from him before. “We weren’t having dinner until eight or so.”
“Actually,” I put in, “why don’t we just order now? Then Jessa can eat with us.” Because clearly he really wanted her to stay.
