Page 17 of Bolo's Curveball
“All this is just getting me ready to have no shame for when I have to be spread eagle on a table giving birth to my kid. Hard to be embarrassed about what’s going to happen when you pee yourself every time you throw up. And puke every time you eat. And just feel miserable the rest of the time.”
She petted the top of my hair and there was sympathy shining in her eyes. “And it’s getting you ready to be spit up on and peed on.”
“Exactly,” I said, suddenly feeling exhausted. That was something else that was new. I slept a lot and was still always tired. Between the internet and my mother, I knew all of this was normal—for some women, yay me—and I wasn’t too worried, yet. Though the constant throwing up was making me worry that my baby wasn’t getting enough nutrients. I wished I could get in to see the doctor sooner rather than later so I could ask my questions and get reassurance that the baby was okay.
Mom assured me that the baby would get what he or she needed by taking it from my body. It was me who would be deficient. That shouldn’t have been as comforting as it was since I was the one who would have to go without, but honestly I preferred it that way. I just wanted the little one to be safe.
“I’ll be right back with the clothes.”
Nodding, I stripped out of my soiled clothes and got into the shower. I kept it lukewarm because I’d made that mistake before and almost passed out in the hot shower after one of these bouts of puking. By the time I was done, the clothes and a new towel were perched on the edge of the sink.
Going out into the living room after I changed, I frowned when I saw everything was cleaned up and everyone except Sophie was gone. “They didn’t have to leave.”
“It’s okay, Dev. You’re tired. Come on.” She wrapped an arm around my shoulder and led me to my room. Soon I was tucked in and she was threading her fingers through my hair, scratching my scalp. It had always been my most favorite way to fall asleep. “You get some sleep. You can call me if you need anything.”
“Okay,” I sighed. “Thanks, Soph.”
“We all love you. Sorry this part isn’t much fun, but we’re so excited for you. I can’t wait to hold that baby.”
I smiled at her. “I can’t either. Never thought I’d be so excited when everything with Bolo is so up in the air.”
“It sounds like he’s trying, Dev. Do me a favor?”
“Okay.”
“Let him in.”
I frowned at her. “I am.”
“Really.” It wasn’t a question. She gave me a patient, but knowing, look. “You’ve always been a bit more closed off than the rest of us.”
I heaved a sigh. “I don’t know why. It’s not like anything bad has ever really happened to me.” There had been boyfriends when I was younger and still in school. No one had cheated on me. And most of my relationships had ended amicably. But she was right. I’d been like this for each one. The men had always had to fight hard to get me into that relationship.
“You’re scared. Especially now,” she said with a shrug.
“Of what?” I grumped. “It’s stupid and not at all logical.”
“Sometimes emotions aren’t logical, Dev. You’re scared that you’re going to get attached to him and he’s going to leave. Or disappoint you in some way and that’ll break your heart.”
I blinked at her as that sank in and I realized that what’d happened to her was probably influencing me a little bit as well.I considered asking her if she wanted to talk, but there was a sad look on her face, so I deflected with humor instead. Most days she didn’t want to talk about what she’d lost, so I left it alone. “Since when did you become psychic?”
She laughed, giving me a grateful look. “I just know you really well. You have a tough outer shell, but deep down you’re all squishy inside. You have such a good heart. Just show that to Bolo and put a little faith in him and you’ll be fine.”
“You don’t even know him,” I pointed out. “How do you know he’s trustworthy?”
She snorted. “He responded to you telling him you’re pregnant by doing everything he could to keep you close. Which means he’s smartandtrustworthy. He clearly cares.”
“What does that mean? Everything he could to keep me close?”
“If he’d suggested marrying each other, you’d have panicked and run.”
Since panic was threatening to claw its way up my throat at the mere mention of marriage, I only nodded.
“He probably figured he couldn’t even ask you for something concrete like being girlfriend and boyfriend. So he suggested that you get to know one another.” She tapped her temple. “Smart man. And he clearly knows how to read people.” She was right. There was so much more to Bolo than just the muscles. Endless muscles.
I shook my head to clear out the image of him and smiled at her. “You think I’m being ridiculous.”
“I think you’re beingyouand doing the best you can. I’m just asking that you give him a chance. Let him help you with all this. See how it goes. What’s the worst that could happen?”
