Page 78 of Foes & Cons
Remove anything from the Draíleabh Athenaeum and I will smash my favourite mirror and remove your fingers with the shards.
BUD LEROY
Wow. This librarian is strict.
Vampire Falls. Season two, episode four – “Return and Renew”
An important (and usually expensive) part of the convention experience is exploring the merch stalls. It’s ideal for perusing in between Q&As and autographs, or as a meeting point.See you in the dealers’ roomis like a convention pack howl.
You’ll find tons of items perfect for Fallers in the dealers’ room. Bored of your iPhone sleep alarm? Why not invest in an alarm clock with Viggo Rassmussen emblazoned on the face? Is your set of keys lacklustre and uninspiring? You need an overpriced Blood is Forever keyring!
I fish myVampire Fallstote from inside my backpack in anticipation of buying shiny new things (Funko. Always a Funko) and spot Fake McKinley. I go up behind him and thwack my tote against his arm. He looks round and smiles when he sees us both.
“Hey,Billy Elliot,” I say, Roxy bumping into me for the fourteenth time as she frowns at her phone. “What you doing?”
“Just hanging around,” he says, lookingat everyone in the lobby, “taking it in.”
“Come to the dealers’ room with us,” I say,waving him along with us. “I’ve got a whole bag here waiting to be filled withproduct.”
“Drugproduct?” says Fake McKinley, his eyes wide.
“Merchproduct!” I say, elbowing him. “We need to get you the convention handbook.”
“There’s a handbook?” he says.
“You’re adorable,” says Roxy, looking at Fake McKinley quickly before returning to her phone. “I need to make a quick call. See you in the dealers’ room?”
See. Told you.
Roxy rushes off and we head into the large room. Fake McKinley starts floating to the middle aisle, but I grab his elbow and pull him back.
“What are you doing?” I ask, gaping at him.
“Err, looking around the drug dealer’s little booth things, like you said?”
“Starting with theleftmiddle aisle? What’s wrong with you? Do you generally approach life in this haphazard manner, or are you a psychopath?” I say, pulling him to the start of the booths. “We starthere, and work roundsystematicallyanticlockwise up and down each aisle.”
Herolls his eyes but follows me to the first stall.
“Isall that in the handbook?” he says, looking down at me.
“Yes,actually, I believe it is,” I say.
I pick up a handmadeVampire Fallsbookmark and decide to buy it immediately. Fake McKinley hovers next to me, frowning at everything on the table. He picks up a Juliana coaster and shows it to me.
“I really like her character,” he says.
“She’s totally the best,” I say, nodding.
“I thought the Lila character was your favourite? Isn’t that why you’re so . . .” He pulls the same hag face Roxy did the other day. Charming. “. . . for the competition? So you can meet her?”
“Yes, obviously,” I say, ignoring the face, “but she’s not myfave. Juliana all the way. She’s the strongest character, and she knows herself so well. I love her.”
We stop at a table covered in chunky metal jewellery, plus shields and swords, all replicas of characters’ weapons. There’s even a glorious House of Huntress family crest sitting on top of a wooden block at the back of the table.
“These are incredible,” says Fake McKinley, picking up a goblet. “I coulddo with this for my protein shakes.”
“Thanks, Brown Eyes,” says Dorothy, suddenly peeking out from behind the crest.
