Page 43 of Foes & Cons
We all turn to look at the woman Toby’s pointing at in the middle row. She looks up from her paperback and waves. We wave back.
“Well,” I say, bemused at the thought of wanting this fragile-looking person to take me home the other night. “Good for you, Toby.”
“I’ll take it from here, Toby. Don’t worry about her.”
“Yes, Vivian,” he chirps.
Vivian stands up and, not in the least bit intimidated by my Alan Sugar bit, mirrors my position across the small table like she’s Billy Bigger Balls, and looks right into my eyes.
“To answer your questions, I like to win, bitches, and Iwillwin.” I snort and push myself away from the table. “And one more thing.”
“What?” I say.
“Iama fan,” she says, folding her arms. “A big fan.”
I hate to admit this, but I turn away and actually gulp. Roxy waves me back down as Charlie Chamberlain and Sadie slope past. Sadie looks up at me like a lost baby duck, so I give her the biggest smile I can manage before I reach Roxy.
“We have like two minutes,” she says, grabbing my shoulders and shaking me. “We need to find someone. We need to findtwopeople or it’s game over.”
“What’s the point?”
“Do notwhat’s the pointme, babe. I know you can win this; I know you can beat her. You know that too, right? Don’t let her flame-coloured hair trick you into thinking you don’t want this the most.”
I look over my shoulder at Vivian, who’s examining her nails, not a speck of self-doubt anywhere on her. I’m certain about two things in life. One is that The Stranger from season five, episode nineteen is actually Bud Leroy’s future self, and the other is that I’m the biggestVampire Fallsfan in this hotel, possibly this country. I turn back to Roxy.
“OK, I’m back in the room. But I still need two teammates, like, now.” I look around. I recognise a few faces from over the years, but nobody I know well enough to . . . “Hold on.”
I stride down the aisle and stop at the end of row F, where two people have just sat down together.
“Dorothy, uh . . . Fake McKinley,” I say. Dorothy peers at me through her thick glasses, and Fake McKinley turns, his snout slightly wonky on the end. He must be feeling better. “Would you do me the honour of joining my team?”
“What’s that, Curly?” Dorothy says, holding her hand to her ear.
“Sorry?” A muffled voice comes from inside the mask before he removes it and wipes his forehead. “What did you say?”
I swallow, then look at Roxy who nods at me. They might not be the team I’d assemble if I had more time, but right now they’re all I have. I look into Dorothy’s crinkly eyes, full of confusion and possible medication-induced dilation, and Fake McKinley who still looks drained from earlier. I get down on my knee, placing my fist across my heart, then bow my head.
“I come to you in this time of desperation. Please, say you’ll fight with me and the Vampire Clan of Sanguis and we canenter this battle with honour and hope.” I look up at them, crossing my fingers over my heart. “Will you join me?”
Dorothy blinks at me, her wrinkly face not registering Viggo Rassmussen’s plea to Vermillion Vasquebois from the season five finale, and I try to pull myself up, my heart shattering that I won’t even get a shot at the trip.
Suddenly, I feel a gentle hand on my shoulder and I look up.
“It’s been three hundred years, Vermillion, and I haven’t left you to battle alone once. I won’t start now.” Dorothy nods, then tries to cross her arthritic fingers over her own heart. “But there’s no way I’m getting up those steps, Curly. Not with my hip.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
COX THE OBSERVER
You must search your soul, Lila Murphy. The world’s fate lies in your hands.
BUD LEROY
(whispers) Cox, dude. She doesn’t do well under pressure.
Vampire Falls. Season six, episode ten – “Music, Maestro”
We’re twenty-three minutes past the alleged start time of the quiz. If my literal happiness and life’s fulfilment weren’t hanging in the balance right now, I’d write a passive aggressive tweet about how not starting at the planned time is like breaking a promise – apromise, I tell you. My nerves are in shreds.
