Page 102 of Foes & Cons
“You want to talk about it?” asks Fake McKinley.
I blink at him again, then look down at my hands. Do I? What would I say and where does it all start? How did I let this competition get so out of control that I didn’t notice my best friend was going through a break-up? Or, let’s be honest, was it actually me that was out of control? For once in my life, I don’t think I have the words to even start exploring how I’ve messed things up so badly.
“It’s cool,” he says, taking my non-response in the way I need him to.
Fake McKinley holds his hand out and nods at a very appealing spot next to him. I take a deep breath, grab his hand and let him pull me across.
“Is it OK if we just sit?” I ask.
He nods, then shuffles round a little so he’s facing away from me and looks over his shoulder.
“May I suggest leaning?” he says, his smile open and inviting, just like his presence. “I highly recommend it.”
I nod and try a smile, then turn myself round so we’re facing away from each other, just like we did after I got myself stuck in a chair and he was having an anxiety attack. I lean back against him, and his warmth gives my body the support to surrender to the fear that’s been clawing at me since I lost Charlie, since I was rejected from Bristol, since I found myself in Vivian’s voluptuous shadow, and since my argument with Roxy. I’m so tired I can’t fight the sorrow of losing the most important friendships of my life any more.
“Surprisingly good, right?” says McKinley.
I nod, grateful he’s there, taking my weight, but I can’t stop a wretched sob escaping my heart. It bounces off the tiles and the walls, so it’s like I’m crying in surround sound. Suddenly, Fake McKinley’s brick wall of a back is gone and I’m all alone and I panic, crying harder, but a split-second later I feel him with me again. Not back-to-back any more, but he puts his arm around me, pulling me into his shoulder as I cry and I cry and I cry – for the convention, for Roxy, and for Charlie.
For all of them.
CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
VIGGO RASSMUSSEN
No! Jawfain?! Get him out of there!
Vampire Falls. Season five, episode two – “Two Heads Are Better Than None”
As I hadn’t expected to have a one-to-one with my hero today, I’ve just gone with my scheduled Sunday clothing which consists of grey jogger bottoms, aVampire Fallshoodie and my red Vans. By Sunday it’s usually all about comfort, and that’s what my soles and my soul are craving right now.
I turn down the corridor and let out a long sigh. Honestly, I thought I’d be more excited at the prospect of coffee with Viggo Rassmussen himself, but I can’t snap myself into full superfan mode, not when there’s a part of my heart missing. If Roxy were here, we’d be holding hands and running down the corridor, then we’d do a jumpy dance. I took her jumpy dance for granted.
Felix is outside a meeting room, rubbing his forehead as he looks at his phone. He looks up and smiles at me, barely, and shoves his phone into his back pocket.
“Hey,Eliza,” he manages. “You’re here.”
Shadows under his eyes and a chin full of stubbleshow just how much these weekends take out of him. I kind of don’t blame him for making a change.
“Hey,Felix. Thanks so much for this.”
“Not at all,” he says, waving my thanks away. “Thank you for being such a big part of our final weekend. It means a lot.”
He looks at me, his eyes brimming with such sadness I almost launch myself at him for a hug but instead he knocks on thedoor. Voices come from inside and it opens.
“Hi there,” saysDebbie, a Californian smile on her face. “Mr Van Schwartz is excited to meet with you, Eliza.”
Felix’s smile falters as he looks at his phone again, then starts backing down the hallway.
“I’ll leave you with Debbie, Eliza,” he says over his shoulder. “Enjoy yourself.”
“OK . . .” I call after him, but he’s already disappeared round the corner.
I look atDebbiefor an explanation but she’s still smiling at me. She seems to be in permanent smile mode. Her cheeks must ache.
“If you’d like to come in?” she says.
“Sure, I. . .”
