Page 5 of Finding His Happiness
He wasn’t going to be the type to fly off the handle and scream at me for nonsense like not being able to read his mind.
“That seems reasonable based on what I’ve seen online.” Not that doing my own research had been that helpful. “Going back to the question. You can’t get mad at me for answering, but I like how calm you are and how good you are at walking through this logically. It’s...nice might not be the right word but it makes me feel calm. I also think I like your size and the idea of being on your lap isn’t negative.”
It was about time I got a use out of being short.
There was nothing I could do about it, so there was no point in dwelling on it, but if he liked it, I was going to use that to my advantage.
“Thank you for explaining your thoughts.” Shifting his legs wider, he rested his arms on the side of the chair and his smile transformed to look slightly challenging. “Let’s take our first step. Come sit on my lap.”
Already?
Well...okay.
“We need to see if you touching me or my touching you will end up being some kind of trigger or turnoff for me.” He nodded when I stood up, but I had to admit to dragging my feet a bit. “Neutral is fine, though. That’s a reasonable starting point.”
Too many people didn’t seem to understand that.
“Absolutely.” Sounding as sincere as he looked, he was patient while I took another step, grateful that he’d been tucked away in a private corner to begin with. I’d been slightly frustrated at how long it’d taken Conner to find him, but now I didn’t mind it. “Neutral will give us a good starting point and feedback about how to continue.”
Yes.
How were other people too stupid to understand that?
“Neutral is very...steady.” I liked steady. “I’m not always good with new situations. They make me...easily frustrated. So I should probably apologize in advance for that.”
He shouldn’t have smiled at me. That was sending the wrong message but lecturing him on that seemed like a bad plan at the moment. Nothing he’d done made me think he’d get upset physically, but I needed him to like me if this was going to work out.
“It takes a lot to upset me, so I’m not worried about that.” He slowly glanced down at his lap as I stopped beside him but he didn’t reach for me. “I’d be more concerned if you didn’t react to something this new.”
He really was very smart...and very good with difficult people.
Maybe Conner had been more helpful than I’d realized?
“This is very new.” I just didn’t do this kind of thing with people...any people. “I think...I think I need a bit of encouragement to finish obeying you. I’ve never done this and it feels very presumptive, maybe.”
There might’ve been a different word for it but I wasn’t sure I could’ve come up with it. He was highly distracting even though he was doing his best to be still and nonthreatening.
“May I touch your torso, specifically your hips, to guide you onto my lap?” When I nodded, he shifted forward in the chair but didn’t touch me yet. “Are there any...let’s call them nonintimate areas on your body I shouldn’t touch?”
Nonintimate ones?
“Oh. Like how some people don’t like to be tickled or don’t like having their feet touched?” When he nodded, I shook my head. “No. I don’t think I have any triggers or issues with those kinds of body parts.”
The internet had been very clear that I would need to disclose anything related to psychological trauma, but aside from being a pain in the ass, I didn’t think I had anything like that.
“Thank you for answering clearly.” With that out of the way, he wrapped his hands around my waist and brought me to hislap like it was an easy decision. “I’m going to reiterate that I like this position but you don’t have to. If something makes you uncomfortable...”
I knew the answer to that one. “I safeword.”
I didn’t need to, though.
“This is slightly awkward but not traumatizing.” The hardest part was remembering not to wiggle. Understanding the consequences of wiggling made it feel like I should try not to deliberately arouse him. It’d be rude. “You have a very comfortable lap. I hadn’t thought of this part of being on the other end of the height spectrum.”
“It’s got some advantages.” His smile peeked out again, but that time it made me wonder if he was thinking something more erotic than he let on. “I’m going to wrap my arms around you now and shift you closer to my torso. Is that okay?”
“Yes.” Hmm. “Can I ask questions?”
I wasn’t sure what he was thinking but his nod was confident. “Yes. I want you to ask anything that comes to mind. If we get to something where it isn’t the time to ask questions, I’ll make that very clear.”
