Page 3 of Finding His Happiness
That was a very logical reaction.
Anyone could look short compared to Conner when he was wearing mile-high heels, but my new friend definitely wasn’t on the top end of the height charts. “Some people don’t like my size for a variety of reasons, so you won’t offend me if that makes you uncomfortable in a negative way.”
“A negative way because in BDSM there can be ways of being uncomfortable that the submissive partner enjoys or even craves.” He jumped right over the size thing but I wasn’t sure how deliberate it was. His mind was an interesting place and I couldn’t make assumptions yet.
“That’s correct. It can vary between individuals, though.” Hmm. “Are you comfortable with the label of submissive in this situation?”
He paused, but it wasn’t as much of a thought-provoking question as I thought it might be. “I’m very take-charge in my daily life, but I don’t think that will carry over into BDSM the same way.”
“Why?” I might’ve talked around the issue a bit with someone else but not with my new friend.
“I don’t know and I don’t like that.” He was back to looking like he wanted to stomp his foot. “Part of it was a visceral response to the idea of dominating a partner.”
He was very vague with the gendered language around sexual situations.
“Then we’ll progress with that as our assumption and reevaluate it at a later date if we need to.” He might be a switch but his inner brat said sub to me, especially from what I saw of his interaction with Conner. “Gut reactions go a long way in helping us to decide which directions to take, so I think you’re doing very well so far.”
It left me with questions about why it’d taken him so long to get to this point but it wasn’t the time for any of them.
Oh.
He’d liked that.
Shoulders relaxed and he let out a deep breath...it wasn’t an obviously sexual pleasure but he liked being praised. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome.” We’d made progress but I wasn’t sure what road we were heading down. “If you’d like my help to figure out what parts of BDSM and male-on-male physical contact might help you find happiness, I’m comfortable with that, but I think our next step needs us getting closer together to see how you react to my touch.”
There was only so far we could explore if he didn’t want me to touch him at all, so we needed to figure out his boundaries on that aspect.
As he considered my point, his gaze scanned over me but it felt more clinical than sexual. “That’s very practical but I don’t want to hurt your feelings or take advantage of you in some way.”
That was good to know.
“Even if we just end up as new friends because we discover you don’t like being touched by a man, I will not feel that you’ve taken advantage of me.” He needed logic and facts, so I was clearas I continued. “I enjoy talking to new subs and the idea of being the first man you explore this with touches on my own kinks.”
Blink.
Blink.
“Oh, you like the idea that I haven’t done this with another man.” He seemed to find that interesting but not offensive. “I’ve never done this with anyone, so that might make you feel even more excited about the situation.”
His sudden pause and cocked head were interesting but I didn’t think I had anything to worry about yet. “I could assume you meant sexually aroused, correct?”
I was starting to see why dealing with women hadn’t gone very well.
“Yes. It’s a caveman kind of reaction but it’s arousing.” I was too old to feel bad about what turned me on, so I answered as logically as I could considering we were talking about kinks. “It would stop being arousing if what we were doing upset you, though. My desire in that type of situation goes hand in hand with the submissive’s reactions.”
His slow nod said he was processing what I’d said but he hadn’t reacted enough for me to know what he was thinking. “You wouldn’t mind getting turned on while we figured this out?”
I wasn’t sure how to respond to that when he looked down at himself and frowned. “I’m assuming you need to find me reasonably attractive for this to work. I’m skinnier than seems to be considered attractive in men these days.”
My expression was under control by the time he focused back on me, mostly because I wasn’t sure he’d understand why I wanted to smile, and I wasn’t sure what he was expecting to see. “Physically you are attractive. The size difference is something I enjoy as well because I’m most turned on by a sub who cancomfortably sit in my lap. I also like your eyes and you have a very kissable mouth.”
The way his brows pulled together said something hadn’t really computed. “Conner said you were very honest and wouldn’t get distracted by my behavior.”
They must’ve had the craziest conversation...and I had a feeling my new friend had been deliberately trying to get Conner worked up.
“I think that’s a good assessment of my personality.” What else could I say? “But he also knows that I find a little bit of drama cute, so I’m doing my best not to encourage your bad behavior. I’m also not the kind of Dom that would get angry over you being a bit difficult, so I’ll be patient while you figure out what makes you happy.”
