Page 18 of Unyielding
‘V, I have something to ask you that I know I have no right to, but I think I need this.’
‘Anything for you, Sunshine.’
‘I need you to erase him—every touch, every memory. I need you to do the things he did to me: bind me, wake me withyoubeing the one between my legs. Turn every terrible memory into something sweet and special because it’s with you. Rebuild me.’
I swallowed thickly at what she was asking. It was a scary amount of trust she was giving me to reshape those memories. ‘I’m scared of hurting you.’
‘Would you stop if I asked you to?’
‘Without a moments delay,’ I replied instantly.
She grinned at me. ‘See, you could never hurt me theway he did because he took from me. But here and now, I am deciding to give to you.’
‘Okay, Sunshine, whatever you need. Now, I need to know if you want to be there. Xav will find him. Z will get him and Sunshine, I will make him feel every shred of pain and fear you felt with him until I kill him. The decision is yours: you can be there, you can be the one to do it, or you can choose to trust that I will make it hurt. Tell me what you want.’
She tensed briefly under me before the words left her. ‘I want to be there at the end, after you’ve done what you wanted to him. I need to see him die. I need to know he can’t find me again. That he’s really gone.’
I nodded, promising her she would get exactly that.
‘I also need to change my number; he found it somehow. I’ve been receiving text messages from him, V. He’s been threatening me, telling me he’ll find me. I’m getting scared. Really scared. What if he finds me here, and does something to you guys? The day he found me, he had left a note under the front door of the shop. I thought it was for the owner but it was too late when I had seen it, he said he would hurt you.’
My stomach dropped. I didn’t think he would be able to get to her like that, but I should have known better, and I was angry at myself for not doing something about it sooner.
‘How long has this been going on for, Sunshine?’
She shrugged, trying to deflate the anger she saw quickly brewing within me. ‘This time? Only the last twenty-four hours or so.’
God, how many times had this happened in the past? How many times had she had to change her number or move because of him?
If I wasn’t certain before, I was now. I wouldkill him.
Later that night, once Sunshine was asleep, I called Ashleigh, Matt’s wife. I had tried to leave them more or less undisturbed while on their honeymoon, but I desperately needed her advice now.
‘Ash, I need your help.’
‘Oh, my honeymoon’s been great, thanks for asking V.’ She mocked.
‘Sorry Ash, I’m just freaking out right now. Tell me everything.’
‘No, tell me what’s going on, you sound off.’ Her voice was tinged with confusion as I heard her close a door behind her, likely finding a private place for this conversation. It was rare I called her, we usually spoke via text or through Matt.
‘I’ve met someone, and they’re everything, Ash. I think I’m in love with her but she wants me to do something and…I don’t know if I should or if I can.’
‘Oh, hon I’m so happy for you. Now what’s going on?’ I know she wanted to pry more about this mystery person, as I had never previously shown much interest in anyone, and here I was seeking her advice about someone; but my desperate tone offered no room for pleasantries.
‘She’s gone through some of the same things you went through with an ex. She has a lot of bad memories. Ones she wants to erase. She’s…she’s given me consent to do things to her. Things he did. She wants me to replace all those bad memories with good ones, but I just don’t know if it’s the right thing to do. I also just don’t know if I can tie her up or fuck her while she’s unconscious knowing those were the things that sick fuck did to her.’
‘Oh wow, yeah okay. Look at the end of the day only sheknows what she needs to move past that trauma. Everybody processes things differently and if this is her way, then you need to put your own feelings aside and give her what she needs. And look this might help her, it might not. But at least she will know you will listen to her, you’ll try anything to help her. Just know it will hit her randomly regardless—five years from now, without a trigger in sight, it will all come flooding back. Sometimes it’s not so easy to fully escape it, but you can outrun it for a time. Help her in any way that you can and don’t overthink it. Just be there however she needs you to be and give her the control. Show her, she’s the one with all the power in this dynamic and she will always feel safe.’
Sighing, the tension left my body. I knew those words to be true, but I needed to hear them from someone else for them to truly sink in. The idea of ever taking control away from Sunshine the way he did made my blood run cold.
‘Thanks, Ash. I don’t know what I would do without you two.’
‘Anytime. And V, cherish her. Truly cherish her.’
‘I will. I got to go, give my best to Matt.’
‘Will do but call him, he’ll be mad knowing you called me and not him.’ I laughed and hung up the phone. Letting out a tense breath I didn’t know I had been holding on to, I exhaled deeply. I would be anything my Sunshine needed me to be.
