Page 142 of Matlock
Say it. Just say it. Get it over with.
“I need to apologize,” Tony said.
I blinked. “What?”
“For what I said last night,” he continued, his voice low and rough. “About you sacrificing yourself for Sadie. About you being willing to go to prison for her.”
Oh.
Oh.
I didn’t know what to say. My mind was reeling, still trying to catch up.
He wasn’t breaking up with me. He was... apologizing?
“Tony—”
“Let me finish,” he said, his grip on my hand tightening. “I was wrong. I was so fucking wrong, Simon. Sadie is lucky to have a big brother who wants to protect her and keep her safe. What you did... what you were willing to do… it wasn’t stupid or reckless. It was love. And I was an asshole for saying it was anything less than that.”
My throat tightened, tears pricking at the corners of my eyes.
“What changed?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.
I stared at him, trying to process his words.
Tony’s expression softened, and for the first time since we’d walked through the door, I saw something vulnerable in his eyes. Something raw and unguarded.
“At the diner,” he said slowly, “after I claimed you in front ofeveryone, I was sitting there with you in my lap, and I thought about Julia.”
Julia.
His sister.
“I thought about how fucking proud she would be of me,” Tony continued. “For finally being honest. For finally claiming the man I love in front of everyone.”
My breath caught.
The man I love.
Did he just—
“And then I remembered why Julia wasn’t there. What she did for me,” Tony said, his voice cracking slightly. “The same thing you did for Sadie.”
I stared at him, my heart pounding.
“You were willing to take the fall for her,” Tony said quietly. “Just like Julia was willing to take the fall for me. And I’ve spent my life terrified of losing someone again.”
His hands trembled as he reached for me.
“Julia didn’t walk away free, Simon. She didn’t walk away at all. And I couldn’t...” His voice broke. “I can’t stand the thought of that happening to you. Of losing you because you were trying to protect someone you love.”
Tony’s eyes met mine, raw and haunted.
“I thought you were being selfish. That you were only thinking about yourself and what you wanted. But I was the selfish bastard. I was only thinking about myself and how it would affect my life.”
Tony closed his eyes and laid his head back against the couch. “Julia would kick my ass for the way I’ve treated you. The way I kept you a secret.” He rolled his head to the side and looked at me. “The way I used you. I’m so fucking sorry, Simon. I’m so sorry for making you feel like you weren’t enough. Like you weren’t worth claiming. Like you weren’t worth everything.”
I couldn’t speak. Couldn’t form words. All I could do was stare at him as tears streamed down my face.
