Page 61 of Captive Wilderness
I waited for Landon to shift and fight like a bear.
But my cousin didn’t shift, not even his claws or canine teeth. His eyes remained steady and guarded. I swayed back and forth, wanting to attack but holding back because Landon hadn’t shifted yet.
Brooke came out from behind my cousin.
“Don’t. He’s dangerous like this.” Landon’s words came from a great distance as he stepped in front of her again.
She ducked under his arm. “He won’t hurt me.”
“Are you sure about that?”
“Yes.” She turned her head to the side but kept her eyes on me. “Leave us for a minute, okay?”
Through my haze, I saw Landon hesitate, then give a small nod before moving to the door. My instincts told me to go after him, to tear into him and relieve the rage inside me, but then Brooke was there, filling my vision. Her eyes never left mine as she swayed with me, always blocking my view of the door where Landon had gone.
“Kane, focus on me.” She put her hands up, like I held her at gunpoint. “Listen to my voice. Smell me.” She extended her hand forward. “We’re in a public place.”
Inhaling her fragrance, I rubbed my face against her skin. My staccato heart rate slowed as her familiar scent calmed me. She was here in front of me, safe. There was no danger. The red edges of my vision began to fade.
“You need to shift back,” she murmured, stepping closer.
Shift? I shook my head to clear it. I hadn’t shifted, had I? I looked down at my body. My muscles bulged beneath my shirt, fur tearing through the fabric. Long claws stretched from my fingers, and my teeth were sharp in my mouth.
I was neither a bear nor a man, but stuck as something in between.
This had never happened before.
I’d never stopped a shift midway.
Blinking fast, I stared at my hands. The red around my vision receded a fraction but not completely.
When we were in La Ronge, when those two cougars took Brooke, I’d been able to shift back on my own. Because my mate needed me.
My mateneedsme.We came here for answers. My rage pushed that necessity aside.
Staring at my hands wasn’t willing them back into human form. A frustrated breath huffed out of me, making a stray hair on Brooke’s forehead twitch.
The last time I’d shifted, Brooke’s memories focused me. Her running through the woods, the desire to return to human, all those things facilitated her transformation. I concentrated on those memories again.
“Kane?” she asked, her hand on my cheek.
I nodded once and focused on her eyes. They pulled me in, their yellow color a pool of concern and caring. Swallowing, I remembered Brooke’s memories like they were my own. My bones shifted, my fur receded, my body became like sand through a funnel, one granule changing at a time.
When my hand returned to being fully human, I touched her cheek like she held mine. Closing her eyes, she leaned into the connection.
My eyes burned as emotion welled up inside my chest, so hot I thought it might scorch me.
I pulled her to me, needing to feel her against my body. It wasn’t just about being mated. It waseverything—her strength, her intelligence, her fearlessness in the face of what had happened to her. Her courage in facing me during one of my shifts. We may have met in an unusual circumstance, the odds against us, but she was my perfect match. My perfect mate. I loved her.
I loved her, and that was why I needed to let her go. I wouldn’t allow myself to hurt her, to put her in danger again. A defeated sob worked its way up into my throat, pain shooting to my limbs when I thought about separating.
Because when I shifted, I lost all sense of self.
The second I had that terrifying thought, realization hit me like a hammer to glass. The bear hadn’t subverted me completely. Not this time. I hadn’t fully shifted. Even though it had taken a minute, I’d rationalized. I remembered everything about the incident, the look on Landon’s face as he tried to protect Brooke, her words to me, Landon leaving. I hadn’t blacked out.
I remembered part of my last shift too. When Brooke needed me after those cougars had abducted her, I made the decision to stay with her instead of chasing after those fuckers. I’d returned to my human form so I could help her with the remote.
I’d had coherent thoughts. I could shift and retain my control. With practice, I might be able to master it. I wasn’t like my father who now lived as a bear. I wasn’t like my grandfather who’d been put down for hurting others.
