Page 46 of Captive Wilderness
Early morning sunlightbounced off the lake as the sun rose in the sky. I stepped out onto the porch with a mug of coffee in each hand. The tug in my chest told me I’d find Brooke at the end of the dock. Taking a step toward her, I stopped, hesitating.
She’d gotten up earlier than usual, rolling out of bed when the sun just began to brighten the sky. Usually, she slept late. Today there was a sadness to her movements, giving me the impression she wanted to be alone. That had been a couple of hours ago.Should I leave her on her own or bring her coffee?
Her heat had faded over the past few days, her scent returning to what it had been when she’d first arrived, not the bowl-me-over intoxicating entity it had become during her time. Even though her need abated, it hadn’t quelled her sexual appetite. Not that I minded. All she had to do was look at me and I was ready for her. When she’d turned to me in the middle of the night, she’d licked the marks she’d given me.
Along with the recession of her heat came an influx of other emotions. She was more preoccupied and often lost in thought. Before it had been all about biology. Now she was more baseline. What would happen once we left the solitude of my cabin must be weighing on her mind.
My hands tightened on the mug handles. This time between us was coming to an end.
The thought stabbed me in the gut even though it was understandable. She hadn’t asked for any of this. If we’d met under normal circumstances, I wasn’t the man a woman like her would choose to be with.
Should I leave her to her thoughts?
I stared at her slight form at the end of the dock. She’d wrapped a patchwork quilt around her body, a smudge of color against the blue of the water. In the end, the tug in my chest was too powerful to ignore. I could always bring her the coffee, then leave if she wanted to be alone. With purpose, I walked toward the lake.
She turned her head to me when I took that first step onto the dock. As I drew near, she scooted over to make room. The knot in my stomach eased, and I sank down beside her, cross legged, before passing her a mug.
“Thank you,” she murmured, blowing across the top, then taking a tentative sip. Her gaze remained on the water, one arm wrapped around her knees.
We stayed that way for long minutes, sipping our coffee and staring out at the water. Brooke’s silence weighed on me. I wanted to know what she was thinking.
Two loons slowly circled along the edge of the water, searching for fish. Once in a while, one would dive down, disappearing for long seconds before resurfacing several feet away. When they neared the rotor blade sticking out of the water, my hands tightened on my mug.
Finally, Brooke broke the silence. “I need to find my sister.” Her voice was flat, her gaze glued to the scenic landscape. “Part of me thinks it’s been too long already, that whatever those cougars had planned for her, it’s done. That she’s dead.”
Her sadness cut me to the core. I leaned into her, my shoulder to hers.
“I have this guilt inside me too,” she continued. “I’m here with you, safe, protected, and she could be—” She stopped speaking and hung her head. “I just want her to be safe too.”
My hand went to her back, rubbing up and down, trying to give her what little comfort I could. As much as it appealed to me to stay hidden in these woods forever, there was no way I was going to let her deal with this on her own. We needed answers from Landon. We needed to go to Vancouver to find out what happened to the design of the collar and whether my cousin had sent mercenaries after Brooke, whether he had anything to do with that cargo plane, those other animals, and those hunters her sister referred to.
And after sharing Brooke’s dreams night after night, Sabrina was as much my sister as hers. I wouldn’t rest until the two were reunited.
Brooke let out a slow breath and leaned her head against my shoulder. I gave her a little squeeze, trying to ignore my rising panic. Over the past few days, emotion had built inside me. Along with my determination to help her find her sister came the understanding that once we found Sabrina, I’d have to let Brooke go.
The truth settled like a ball of lead in the pit of my stomach. I couldn’t keep her. I cared for her too much to do that to her. If she remained with me, the potential I could harm her during one of my blackouts would always remain. I could lose control and she’d be the only one there to take the brunt of it. I couldn’t put her in harm’s way like that.
We were too different anyway. She lived in the city, loved going dancing at a club, and I loved the silence of nature. She liked being around others while I found comfort in my own company. How in the world would we ever make that work?
But she’s your mate.
My animal shouted the same words every time I acknowledged that this thing between me and Brooke was temporary. Sometimes that voice roared. But there wasn’t any way around it. Detroit was her home, and besides being a dangerous environment, living in a city held no appeal for me.
If I could, I would keep her here forever. The past two weeks had been the best of my life and I didn’t want to lose her. The thought of separating from her sent actual pain throughout my body. But she had a life beyond this cabin.
I knew it was going to hurt. As mates living apart, we wouldn’t be comfortable, but I hoped, over time, her discomfort would ease. I didn’t care if mine did. If I ached this way for the rest of my life, it would be a small price to pay for the joy I’d experienced during our short time together.
After experiencing her life through dreams, I knew she’d eventually get over it. She always did. She never stayed with anyone long. As sick as the thought made me feel, in the grand scheme of things, I was just another guy who appeased her need for a time.
The bear inside me roared its disapproval.
I told it to shut up. I wouldn’t force her to stay with me, couldn’t no matter how much pain I experienced.
Beside me, Brooke’s body slumped slowly into mine, her breathing evening out in the rhythm of slumber. Not surprising since she’d tossed and turned all night. Taking the mug from her hands, I set it aside, then scooped her into my arms to settle her bottom between my legs. It didn’t take long for her to fall fully asleep.
We stayed that way for a long time, me cradling her, and her soft breaths tickling the skin at my throat. This is what I’d always remember, being like this on the edge of the water with her where the outside world didn’t exist, didn’t matter. Who the hell was I trying to kid? I’d rememberallof our time together. Every precious second.
When the sun crested over the lake, I kissed the top of her head, bundled the blanket around her, and stood with her in my arms. The dock creaked under my footsteps. Keeping her tight against me, I walked up the small slope to the cabin.
