Page 20 of Captive Wilderness
I had to keep it together. I couldn’t put Brooke’s life in danger.
When I shifted, I lost myself to the animal. There was noKaneleft. And every time I’d let emotions rule me in the past, it had spelled disaster for someone else. It was why I was out here alone. It was why I’d designed those collars, for people like me. For shifters like my father. My grandfather had been the same, and the town we’d lived in had eventually banded together to put him down. My dad… He gave into his animal completely and now lived fully as a grizzly in the mountains. We hadn’t seen him since I was a kid.
Some shifters weren’t able to control their baser instincts. Rabid was what they called us, though it had nothing to do with the infectious disease that sometimes affected regular animals and had everything to do with a shifter’s mental state after shifting. I’d separated myself from society so I wouldn’t end up like my grandfather, held down so they could put a bullet between his eyes. Or like my dad, who no longer possessed a sense of his human self.
And now Brooke’s condition was making me forget all the calming techniques I’d taught myself while out here. The yoga, the Tai Chi, the meditation… It was like I’d made zero progress as soon as I scented a feline shifter in heat. All I wanted to do was turn around, go back to her, and mate.
I wouldn’t do that. I kept my feet moving. I wouldn’t take advantage of her. She was stuck here, in a state she had no control over, and I wouldn’t use that against her. I wasn’t my animal. I could rationalize. Staying away meant she’d be safe from me. Even if she was uncomfortable, even if she needed help, I had to stay away. If I returned, then I was putting her in danger.
The forest became still around me. I stopped. My skin tightened, expectant.
A low, beating pulse echoed the air. I lifted my head, searching for the sound. It was coming from the direction of the cabin.Whop, whop, whop, whop.I’d traveled far in my attempt to get away from her scent and was now off my property. But I could hear it. A helicopter.
Brooke.
I ran back the way I’d come, ignoring the bushes and trees grabbing at my clothing and scraping my body. I’d left her vulnerable. She’d told me someone was after her, and I’d left her alone. I ran faster, my arms and legs pumping.
The thought of someone hurting Brooke made a savage growl erupt from my chest. I jumped over a fallen tree, then a patch of bushes, startling a squirrel. I had to get back. She was in danger.
The red haze moved in on my peripheral vision. I couldn’t stop it. I didn’t want to stop it. My instincts took over. The landscape around me blurred as I ran faster and faster. Then, for the first time in a decade, I shifted.
10
BROOKE
I staredat those words on the whiteboard, defeat and dread spiraling through me. How would I survive these next few days without his help? What kept him from helping me? Was I that undesirable to him? I dove under the covers, mortified at the rejection but confused because I’d seen the bulge in jeans. Hedidwant me.
The heat climbed through me like a sickness. It made my skin hot and tight, my hair follicles itchy, my throat close and my tongue heavy. Every nerve ending in my body demanded release. The pressure inside my stomach built and built.
My hand moved down my stomach and into my sweatpants. There was no point in pretending that wasn’t what I’d been doing or deny that he’d understood. At least I was pretty sure he wouldn’t be back for a while. If he did come back, it would be because he’d changed his mind and was willing to put me out of my misery. But he’d told me he couldn’t help me. If he couldn’t, then I’d have to take care of myself as best as possible.
God, I was so wet, drenched with my need. I never let it get this bad, always looking for a guy a couple days before to prevent the phase from going too far. Visions of Kane chopping wood filled my head. Sweat, muscles, skin. It took less than a minute for me to climax.
I lay back and exhaled. The heat wasn’t gone, but it didn’t hurt so much. I stared up at the beams in the ceiling. How was I supposed to get through the next week without losing it? I’d probably have to touch myself every fifteen minutes to keep my sanity. Not wanting to dwell on that depressing thought, I allowed myself to doze, to drift in my post-orgasmic bliss.
Boots thumped on the landing. My eyes flew open. Kane was back. My face flamed again, and like a coward, I pulled the covers over my head.
The door opened. “Where’s the little kitty hiding?”
The sound of a man’s Texas accent made me freeze. An icy sensation ran through my veins.Not Kane.My heart beat hard in my throat.
I stayed still and quiet under the covers, willing myself to become invisible. The distant sound of a helicopter cut through the silence, making my pulse race. They’d come for me.
A sudden shot of pain from my collar made me scream. Kicking the covers off, I tried to get away from the burning sensation that spiked from my brain into my stomach. I thrashed, then fell off the bed,splat. The pain wouldn’t quit, and tears rolled out of my eyes.
Finally, it subsided. I clutched at the collar on my neck, needing to tear it off. Cowboy boots stopped in my line of sight. I turned my head to look up.
“There you are.” The man from the airplane popped the brim of his cowboy hat farther back on his head and waved a silver remote at me. “You’re going to be a good kitty now, aren’t you?”
Fear and residual pain made it hard to breathe. The sound of the helicopter kept getting louder and louder.
As he stared at me, his nostrils flared, and he inhaled deep. “Well, the little kitty’s got herself a problem doesn’t she?” He smacked his lips. “Don’t worry, we can fix that once we get where we’re going.” I shrank away from him, but he grabbed my upper arm and started hauling me to my feet.
Despite my struggles, he dragged me outside. The wood Kane had dropped still lay everywhere. I grabbed a log and swung it with all my strength. It hit him in his side. He grunted and let go of my arm. I scrambled away on my hands and knees then struggled to my feet, my ankle shrieking at me to stop.
I’d almost made it to the door when a spike of pain stabbed me through my brain and into my stomach more painful than any I’d experienced before. A scream tore from my chest, my legs collapsing beneath me. My fingers clutched at the collar, the metal hot and vibrating as I tried to rip it off.
The pain went on and on until it felt like my brain melted. Lightning bolts of agony extended through my arms and legs, making it impossible to move. Sweat broke out all over my body. I curled into a ball and shook.
