Page 37 of The Consort's Curse
I should’ve expected that; where else would it go, after all? But I hadn’t expected it. The sheets would be disgusting. Aldrich would see, and the laundry maid would know. Oh, gods.
Closing my eyes wouldn’t prevent Stefan from seeing the aftermath of what he’d done to me and to my previously neat and tidy bed, but it would prevent me from seeing him see me.Pale and sprawled and sweaty, my red hair all matted and damp, bodily fluids everywhere…I put my hands over my eyes.
“Remi? Are you well? Look at me.”
That command I absolutely would not obey. “I’m perfectly well,” I managed to mutter. “I promise. Please just—please—”
The bed creaking as he climbed off of it didn’t quite drown out his deep sigh. “I’ll go, then,” he said. “I assume that’s what you’re trying to ask me.”
It was, and yet I didn’t want him to! I wanted him to stay, and while he stayed, somehow reassure me that he didn’t find me as disgusting and awkward as I’d started to find myself now that the intoxication of desire had cleared away like fog and left my mind functional again.
But even if I’d been willing to voice any of those wishes, I had no idea how. And so I lay there in mute, tense misery as he gathered up his clothes and put himself to rights.
His footsteps moved away and then stopped. I could feel his gaze on me even without taking my hands from my eyes. “Do you want me to send Aldrich to you?” he asked.
“I’ll call him myself when I’m ready,” I said.
Another pause. “All right. Are you sure you don’t want me to—I’ll go. I’ll let you know when I hear from Benedict. And we’ll need to talk soon, Remi. About everything. Once you’re feeling better.”
The door opened and then closed.
I waited, and a moment later, his footsteps retreated down the hallway.
At last, I relaxed into the bed, let my hands drop by my sides, and opened my eyes.
A beam of sunlight, reflected from the shiny wood floor, spread across the whitewashed ceiling. I stared up at it,regulating my breathing, and at last sat up slowly and moved toward the bath. Every motion made me think of Stefan.
And I had the terrible, sinking worry that even if I washed away the traces he’d left on my body, no amount of bathing would erase him from my mind.
Chapter Fifteen
Aldrich had laid a meal for me in my sitting room by the time I got out of the bath. To my disgust and concern, my energy had returned, my dizziness had completely abated, and the eggs, fried ham, and cut fruit smelled like heaven—my nausea had passed completely.
Just gone. As if Stefan’s touch and heat and voice and cock had been all the healing I needed.
I couldn’t think about what that might mean, or I’d be sick after all.
“Lord Stefan left this for you before he went out, my lord,” Aldrich said as he shook out my napkin, nodding at the envelope tucked under the saucer of my teacup. “A messenger brought it half an hour ago, and Lord Stefan said you should read it too.”
My hand froze in mid-air in the act of reaching for it. Went out? Wentout? Oh, I had to get a hold of myself. He’d put off his inquiries last night in deference to my illness, but I couldn’t expect him to moon about the house waiting for me to bathe and eat and dress now that I’d mostly recovered. The letter had to be from Lord Benedict, but I picked up the cup first—curls of steam rose from my freshly poured tea, and I couldn’t resist the temptation of a first sip, or anything else, any more than any other man. As this morning clearly proved. Gods.
I drained half the cup before I unfolded the letter. It confirmed that Lord Benedict had found traces of poison in twoseparate wine bottles his servant had filched from a crate of garbage in lady Vienni’s kitchen yard.
Lord Benedict mentioned an enclosed wine label, but Stefan had apparently taken that out before he passed the letter to me. I made a mental note to confirm with him that it had come from his sister-in-law’s estates, and—oh, gods.Mysister-in-law, now, too. I sat and stared down at the letter without seeing it at all. I’d been so focused on the tumultuous events taking place in my bedroom that I’d neglected the wider implications: family ties, international politics, commerce, the great world, all of it now relevant to me and my life rather than a set of distant, hazy issues that didn’t concern me in the slightest.
Ennolu help me, but I couldn’t worry about any of that before I’d eaten. I set to, my appetite another uncomfortable reminder of how much I’d enjoyed my morning—as if the way I had to adjust myself in my chair wasn’t enough.
The door knocker clacked distantly right as I stuck my fork into the last bite of ham. Stefan!
No, not Stefan, and I hated the way I’d come to attention at the thought. He wouldn’t knock at his own door. A last savored forkful and a sip of tea later, and Aldrich opened the door and slipped through in a hurry, peeking out through the crack with wild eyes before he shut it firmly behind him.
“The Lord Chancellor!” he hissed, putting his back to the door as if he thought he’d need to bar someone’s attempts to force it. “He’s here!”
The sick, thudding lurch of my heart couldn’t have been a greater contrast with the soft flutter I’d had a moment before when I thought Stefan might have returned, an irony I didn’t enjoy.
“He’s here?” I asked stupidly. “Here? In this house?”
“He wanted to come upstairs, but I told him you’re in the bath. Now he’s in the reception room terrorizing the footmen.He says he’s perfectly happy to wait for you, but he’s obviously not perfectly happy about anything at all on this earth, my lord. He has someone with him, too. One of his aides, I think? I don’t know. Maybe they’re in a hurry to get somewhere on official business.”
