Page 29 of Sweet Surrender
ALLIE WAS STILL PLAYINGtonight’s Sending over in her head.
Not only had Sutton gone home, but the decision had been unanimous. Instead of dropping stones into cups, Elodie had stood up and suggested they all do a show of hands. Vivian had okayed the whole thing, and a minute later, everyone who had wanted to see Sutton go home had their hands in the air. A moment never before seen in the game. A moment that looped and looped behind her eyes and refused to let her sleep.
She turned her head. It was the second night since the game started that Barra had chosen to sleep beside her. Or more so, it was Allie who had orchestrated the entire thing by putting her backpack next to Barra’s and quickly laying out her hoodie as a pillow before Toph could get there. Toph, luckily, hadn’t fought her. She’d just smiled and let it happen.
Barra’s mouth was slightly open. Her brows were faintly pulled together like something in her dreams was making her frown. To Allie, she looked as adorable as a puppy.
Without thinking, Allie reached over to smooth out the crease between Barra’s eyebrows with her thumb. She’d barely touched her forehead before Barra opened her eyes and blinked sleepily.
Allie nearly snapped her head back, but she didn’t. She just stared at Barra, who blinked again. Then, like it was the most natural thing in the world, she smiled. A soft, sleepy smile thatmade Allie’s chest feel fuzzy and her lips quirk up. Then one arm slid across Allie’s waist, and before Allie had time to process the movement, she was being gently pulled onto her side.
Barra settled in behind her.
Allie was so aware of Barra’s forearm across her middle, her hand resting low at her stomach, that she nearly forgot to breathe. She couldn’t remember the last time someone held her like this. If ever. She pulled air into her lungs like she was sipping through a straw and nestled in closer. Barra curled her fingers against Allie’s stomach and nudged her knee behind Allie’s legs, closing whatever small distance remained.
Allie felt her body mold perfectly to Barra’s. It was too delicious not to imagine a blank canvas, to pick up that figurative paintbrush and start something she wasn’t sure she’d ever finish. She’d go full Jenny Saville with the fleshy female figures, two bodies pressed together, except Allie would dissolve the edges where Barra began and Allie ended, and she’d drag in deeper tones. Then she would soften the light across Barra’s chest and catch the slight indent of Barra’s fingers in her stomach.
She pinched her eyes shut until spots filled every inch of her vision, and when she opened them again, the painting was gone. Just like this moment would be gone when the sun rose over the horizon, and they’d wake up with a normal-sized gap between them. Allie would probably be on her back, Barra turned onto her side, facing away, and they’d be back to being whatever they were supposed to be in the daylight.
But Allie didn’t know if she really wanted just that anymore. She was tired of slipping past the camera crew at midnight and ducking behind trees only to stop the kiss whenever a branch snapped or a sound stopped them from what they were doing. Allie was beginning to think maybe she wanted something else. It was beginning to feel like she wanted something more thanjust sex. Something that she hadn’t wanted before, like a life with Barra outside of this game.
Barra’s breath hit the back of her neck as she pulled Allie even closer. Allie’s thoughts scattered like a frightened squirrel. She didn’t even really know what she wanted. Her romantic conquests had always been limited to bathroom hookups, fancy hotels, and at most, two-night stands. So, she closed her eyes and gave in to the fuzzy pull of sleep.
Chapter Fifteen
Barra sank deeper into the ocean and let the water rise to her shoulders, then just under her chin. She’d dip beneath it in a second, like she intended to, but for some reason she couldn’t seem to take her eyes off Allie as she made her way through the shallows. Allie didn’t flinch when the water hit her hips and didn’t hesitate when a wave rolled in. She just dipped under it cleanly, and when she resurfaced, she flicked her hair back like Ariel.
Barra had to admit that nature was beginning to look deliciously good on Allie. The welts on her legs had all disappeared, her fair skin glowed warm in the morning sun, and her mahogany hair had caught the light just enough to bring out the auburn highlights threaded through it. Gone was the version of Allie who lost her balance when the sand shifted unevenly beneath her feet.
“So, what’s the next part of your genius plan?” Allie asked when she reached her. She smiled, and somewhere in the space between Allie’s mouth and the screeching calls of a flock of scarlet macaws wheeling overhead, Barra’s mind drifted.
She envisioned them walking along Huntington Beach in winter, strolling through the water until their feet were numb. She pictured them holding hands and bumping shoulders every few steps before venturing to Duke’s, where they would share a plate of crispy coconut shrimp and decide whether or not to get a slice of key lime pie that was so sweet it made your teeth ache. Afterward, they’d head home and kiss on the sofa for hours whileThe Ultimatum: Queer Loveplayed on the TV.
Then, as quickly as the vision came, it went. Barra floated onto her back and wondered why on earth she’d envisioned winter at all. Or a home in California she didn’t have. She lived in New York. In a walk-up with views of a brownstone across the street. The nearest beach was Rockaway, and she hadn’t gone there since she was a teenager.
“I’m glad you think my plan is genius,” Barra said, concentrating instead on her toes that stuck out above the water. “Although we should probably give Valerie a little more credit. She single-handedly got Sutton out last night.”
Allie laughed, and Barra felt a warm tingle roam down her arms.
She shook them out just as a wave slid in and tipped her body up and over it. The waves on the other side of the beach broke faster and harder than those in the little cove they found themselves in. It had taken Tilly explaining that the steeper the drop, the harder the break for Barra to understand why. Here, where the seabed sloped out gently, the waves lapped instead of crashed.
“So what’s the plan for the next vote? Do you have anything in mind?” Allie said as she gathered her hair into a bun above her head.
Barra did, in fact, have something in mind. Something rather risky. “Hazel and I are the next vote, and if everything goes according to plan, Hazel will be going home,” she said matter-of-factly.
Allie dropped her hands back into the water at the same time her hair fell to her shoulders. She looked surprised. Barra didn’t blame her. There was a reason Barra had kept this part of the plan to herself. Allie had never really been in any danger when Sutton was the next vote.
But going up against Hazel, there was a chance everyone would put their votes on Barra instead. She was, after all,a previous winner, and in Barra’s opinion, she was a more strategic threat.
“That seems like too big a risk,” Allie said slowly. “And what if it doesn’t go according to plan? What if...”
Barra waited for Allie to point out that the risk wasn’t really a risk at all, not when they had the protection bracelet to play. For some reason, it felt liketheirprotection bracelet despite resting at the bottom of Allie’s backpack. Would Allie even play it for Barra? Would she lose her advantage just to keep Barra in the game?
But then Allie said, “I don’t want you to go home.” And Barra had to swallow down reality like a fly that had wandered into her mouth.
“Don’t worry,” Barra said, forcing a smile that felt like extracting a tooth by hand. “We’ll convince Toph and Tilly it’s in their best interest to vote out Hazel. Then we’ll do the same for Elodie and Anna. It shouldn’t be too hard. Everyone will be more than willing to vote out a lawyer.”
Allie took her time to reply. Her gaze was fixed on the glittering surface of the water. Another wave rolled in and lifted both of them. Once it had settled them back down again, Allie looked up and caught Barra’s eye. “So if everything works according to plan, we’ll be paired up by the end of the next Sending?”
