Page 102 of Out of Bounds
“What an idiot,” I mumble, realizing I’ve said it louder than intended when Sonny says, “Couldn’t have said it better myself.”
I’m not talking about the expensive gift that Nelson will probably never play with. I’m talking about everything Auston has given up. He could have had it all. Annie, Nelson, a family to be fucking proud of.
44
ANNIE – LATE NOVEMBER
Proud of You, Darlin’
“I’m pleased you decided to come, Auston.”
He’s resting on hunkers, to not get his pants dirty on the lawn. He’s forgotten what appropriate attire looks like on the ranch but I suppose that’s understandable, given how long it’s been.
He nods but glances up to the porch, where my daddy is sitting, completely inhospitable, next to Tanner in the rocking chairs. It’s clear what Daddy’s thinking but the man next to him, who’s hiding behind shades, I’d like to know where his head is at.
I’m grateful that he welcomed Auston to the party, the only one to do so, even if there’s no love lost between them. What nobody else seems to appreciate is that this is about Nelson. No one else is putting their minds to how my son will feel when he’s old enough to understand his biological father abandoned him.
“You’re the only one,” Auston says.
“Nelson, too,” I say, smiling, even though Nelson is being completely dismissive of the extravagant ride-on car Auston has brought him, preferring to scrunch pieces of wrap.
“So, you, ah, flew in this morning?” I ask, for want of anything else to say.
“Yeah.”
“To San Antonio?”
“Yeah.”
“Then where’ve you been?” I don’t mean to sound shitty but I’ll admit it comes out that way. Auston’s eyes fix on me from behind his swanky shades. “You missed lunch and the cake.”
“Annie, I’m here, aren’t I?”
“Yes, sorry.”
Nelson stands and starts wobble-walking away from us and his new car.
“Weren’t certain you’d come?” I probe gently.
A dimple forms on one of his cheeks. “Truthfully, no.”
I smile. “It’s okay to admit it, Auston. This is all new and I appreciate it can’t have been easy walking into this bunch of folks.”
“I’m definitely not top of their Christmas card lists, am I?”
I chuckle. “’Fraid not.”
He nods. “Hey, Nelson, why don’t you come try out your car?”
Nelson ignores him, fascinated by something in the grass – a stone, a bug, a wildflower, who knows?
He’s being a kid but Auston’s expression tells me he doesn’t get it, so I coax him. “Nelson, check it out, the horn beeps.” I beep the horn of the car, grabbing his interest for a second before he gets back to whatever is in the grass.
Auston heads over to him and picks him up under the arms, bringing him back to the car. I bite my tongue because Nelson is an independent and obstinate little boy.
Auston isn’t hurting him but when he tries to sit Nelson into the car, Nelson starts the mother of all meltdowns. The kind of reaction I rarely see on him and one that makes me wonder whether he understands more about this situation than I’m giving him credit for.
“It’s okay, buddy, it’ll be fun.” Auston is still trying to sit him into the car. Nelson’s legs are flailing and I’m going to have to wade in.
