Page 43 of Heartsmashed
Or maybe I was just speaking for myself with that wishful thinking.
God, what the hellhadjust happened?
“Okay,” I muttered, running my fingers through my damp hair as I paced the room, since apparently standing still was no longer an option. “I’m not going to panic.”
Easier said than done when the sound of the shower kicked on.
Beckett. In the bathroom. Showering. Naked.
I stood there staring at the door for way longer than I should have before shaking my head, forcing myself to snap out of it.
“I’m not gonna think about that,” I said to myself. Out loud. Because my inner voice was absolutely not getting the message. “Not gonna think about you naked. Not gonna do it.”
Nope. I’d lied. I was definitely thinking about Beckett in the shower. Soaping up and running his hands down over his?—
“Oh my God, you freak.” I turned, looking for a distraction, any distraction, and my gaze landed on the small kitchen counter.
Beckett had brought the strawberries and champagne inside, and judging by the opened bottle and half-empty glass beside it, he’d needed a drink.
The man was speaking my language.
I grabbed the champagne and poured myself a glass, waiting for the bubbles to go down before topping it off.Mmm.It was tart and fizzy and exactly what I needed. I plucked one of the strawberries off the tray and dropped it into the glass, letting it soak up the alcohol as I took another sip. And another.
Oh, fuck it—I finished off the whole damn thing, and the strawberry too.
But then all I could think about was the way his eyes had watched me eat one earlier, and…great. Now I was standing there, half dressed, drinking alone in a cabin while the guy I’d just kissed was a few feet away. Not to mention I was thinking something really insane that I probably shouldn’t be, and there was no one to stop me from a potentially bad decision.
Or a very good one. It could be a very,verygood decision if I were to walk through the bathroom door and finish what we?—
Nope.That was enough champagne for me.
I set the glass aside and headed over to the closet to grab one of the t-shirts I’d packed. The more covered up I was, the less likely it was that I’d feel the need to remove them…or whatever logic that was.
I flopped back on the bed and sighed. Normal people didn’t spiral after a kiss. Or think about barging in to join someone’s shower, who may or may not want you to.
God, I was losing it, I really was.
I glanced at the bathroom door and, when the water stayed on, turned my attention to the wooden beams that crisscrossed the ceiling.
Okay, fine. I could let myself think about that kiss until the shower shut off.
Giving myself that permission opened the floodgates, and I relived the moment I’d decided enough was enough and kissed him. It had just felt so right at that moment. Sitting between his thighs, wanting to rub my hands down them… Melting into his touch as his hands worked me over. Hearing him open up, our relating to each other in a way I hadn’t considered.
It was like the perfect storm, and I had to admit I was kind of proud of myself for making the first move.
And then…God. The way Beckett’s mouth had moved against mine was unreal. He knew exactly what he was doing, from the way his tongue stroked mine to the way he held me, like I was all that mattered even though he’d probably done it a thousand times before.
Fuck.That was it. That was the problem. He probablyhad, because that was his job.
Right? Was that part of it? The kiss? It had felt pretty real to me, but maybe that was just because he was so good at all of this. Not just the kiss, but the hot-tub surprise and how supportive and charming and perfect he’d been with everything since we arrived.
My stomach twisted. I didn’t want to think about the possibility the kiss was as fake as his boyfriend status.
We hadn’t exactly talked about it, so was the kiss just included? Did it cost extra? Did part of the job mean satisfyingallaspects of the job, sex included?
Jesus Christ.
I pressed my palms over my eyes. What kind of person’s thought after kissing someone wasWhat’s their pricing structure?It wasn’t exactly a topic I’d thought to bring up, because even as attractive as Beckett was, I hadn’t thought there would be more than just putting on an act.
