Page 102 of Heartsmashed
“Repeating it isn’t helping.”
“I’m trying to understand.”
“I know.” God, I hated the way my voice came out so small. “I was embarrassed, okay? I didn’t want you guys looking at me like I was breakable all week, and I didn’t want Mom and Mama worrying. And I…I just didn’t want Peter to think he’d won.”
Rome lowered himself on the arm of the couch beside where I sat. “Sawyer?—”
“It’s ridiculous, I know that, okay? But at the time it felt less humiliating than coming here alone.”
It wasn’t just concern that flickered in Hudson’s eyes then. It was understanding.
“Why didn’t you tell us?” he asked.
“Because you would’ve talked me out of it.”
“Yes.”
Rome lifted a finger. “I would’ve at least asked follow-up questions first.”
“It doesn’t matter now,” I said, rubbing both hands over my face. “Beckett wasn’t even the guy I hired. Something I found out about fifteen minutes ago.”
Hudson and Rome exchanged looks, looking even more confused.
“He was just there.” I dropped my hands and forced myself to say it, because apparently they couldn’t read my mind. “At the hotel lounge. I thought he was the man I was supposed to meet, but he wasn’t and he let me believe he was.”
I’d never seen my brothers so intently listening to anything in their lives as I told them everything. Who Beckett really was. Why he’d been at the lounge in the first place. How he’d agreed to spend the week here with me. How I thought it was turning into something more. But then I’d found his work badge and he’d confessed to it all.
For a long time, no one said anything, just sat with all of it. If I hadn’t been so destroyed, I might’ve been impressed I’d left them both speechless for once.
But then Rome exhaled and said, “Oh, Saw,” and that almost broke me.
I swallowed, my gut twisting again. “I feel so stupid.”
“No.” Rome pushed to his feet. “None of that.”
“Rome—”
“I’ll give youpissed off,blindsided,confused,betrayed,hurt, butstupidis not on the approved list.”
“I hired a fake boyfriend who wasn’t even the fake boyfriend I hired.”
Hudson winced, and I couldn’t blame him. It sounded even worse out loud.
“Okay,” Rome said carefully. “When you say it like that, it does sound…unfortunate.”
“Shitty.” Hudson crossed his arms, still in just his undershirt with his tuxedo pants. “Just say it. It’s shitty.”
“Yeah.”
“Really shitty.”
I shot him a glare. “Again, I’m aware.”
“But…”
“There’s a but?”
“There’s a but,” Hudson confirmed, but Rome only stifled a snort, balling his fist in front of his mouth.
