Page 8 of Knot Without My Permission
The sound of glass hitting the wall preempts Devon hanging up on me and I groan as I drop the phone on my chest.
That could have gone infinitely better.Devon is a little shit on a good day, and now he’s one who’s pissed at the world. If I could, I’d tell him to not come to the funeral, but that wouldn’t be fair to him.
Is this what Lore feels like every day?Fuck, felt.Weighing the right with the wrong, worried each decision could blow up in his fucking face? I’ve only been in his shoes for a few hours and I’m already exhausted.
My phone rings and I groan. Without looking, I pick it up, sure it’s going to be one of my brothers.
“Hello,” I say, trying to sound as normal as possible.
“Damn, is there something wrong with your nose?”Arsenal asks.
“No, but that’s the best impression of normal that I have,” I sigh.
“Fuck normal. Our lives aren’t set up for that. We need to have church, Wilder. Except, we’re kind of in an odd situation,”he admits.
“Come to the brownstone. I’ll order groceries and make breakfast or lunch or whatever the fuck it might be,” I say.
“Nah, we’ll get groceries. Is Marie going to lose her shit if we show up?”Arsenal asks.
“No, she’s keeping it together better than she has any right to. She wasn’t on the best of terms with our president when he died,” I say. “There’s a lot of fucked up emotions she’s dealing with. Don’t be too hard on her.”
“Wouldn’t dream of it. Lore would probably come back from the dead just to beat my ass,”Arsenal groans. “Seriously, I feel like I was a dick this morning.”
“It’s up to you if you want to apologize to her,” I say, sitting up. The world spins as I get upright, forcing me to wince. “She’s been working her ass off at work, and she’s stubborn as hell. If she’s cranky, I plead the fifth and know nothing about the stun gun she carries with her.”
“I heard about that from Ace,” he says with a chuckle. “He liked her, and that’s why I’m going to try to understand what it’s like on her side of things. We’re all grieving Lore.”
“Thanks, man,” I say. “We’ll eat and then have church. Have everyone park up the street so we don’t scare the neighbors.”
My soul fucking hurts as I remember Lore telling me about how the kids in this neighborhood had adorable little turf wars.
Maybe we will be alright in this big house without Lore. God knows, no one gives a flying fuck if we aren’t.
Time to pull on my big boy leathers.Standing, I say goodbye and hang up with Arsenal. We’re about to have a rowdy and loud group in our home soon, and I need to warn Marie about it. The difference between her brother and us is that no one will place a finger she doesn’t want on her.
Making a face, I walk back inside barefoot, knowing I need to shower and at least appear to be competent. We’ll all mournin our own ways, but the club needs strength in their interim president. Even if I’m feeling the very opposite of that.
“Wilder?” Marie asks as I walk in. “What’s wrong?”
“Just making some calls,” I explain, cursing myself when I remember I haven’t called Henry yet. “I need to shower and get ready before the club gets here. They want to have a meal together and have church. Do you mind?”
“Why would I mind?” she asks.
“It’s your house too, and you don’t really like club business,” Storm mumbles against her skin as she turns to face me.
“Things change,” she admits. “The club needs something stable, and I’m willing to help. I still don’t like this life, but it’s yours, so I’ll bend.”
The unspoken words of “don’t break me” feel loud in the room as I nod.
“Understood,” I say. “Come shower with me, baby. Both of you.”
“Mrgh, fuck,” Storm groans.
“I know, none of us have slept enough. Up and at ‘em,” I tease, putting my phone and gun away.
Stealing Marie away from Storm, I kiss her neck as I walk. Her little whimper makes me insane, and I purr for her as I walk toward the bathroom.
“You look so pretty,” I admit, flicking on the light. “I have no idea how you can survive on so little sleep.”
