Page 7 of Knot Without My Permission
Finding a pair of sweatpants, I pull them on and grab my gun and cellphone. I’m feeling a touch paranoid after being ambushed last night. I don’t want to be caught unaware again, especially with the last two people I care about sleeping off our grief.
Heading up the stairs to the roof so my voice won’t carry and I won’t wake up Marie and Storm if things get heated, I connect a call to Devon.
“Is something wrong?” he answers as I slip quietly outside. There’s a cool breeze up here, as it’s only ten in the morning. “You never call me.”
I didn’t sleep for long, just enough to take the edge off my exhaustion. The warmer September temperatures will come along by noon, but for now, I walk to the modular sofa to wrap a blanket over my shoulders.
Fall feels as if it’s breathing down my neck, a reminder of how quickly summer flies by in the Midwest.
Fuck. Since we fucked out here barely twenty-four hours before this, the sofa smells like Storm, Lore, Marie and I. Laying back on the cushions, I close my eyes as I breathe them in. It doesn’t feel like he could possibly be gone.
“I can’t just call you because I want to?” I ask, my voice rough.
“Fuck off,” he says. “Seriously. How did last night go?Lore said you were going to talk to Chester. Where’s my brother?”
“It didn’t go well,” I breathe. “Chester double crossed us for a bigger pay day. The garage isn’t doing well, and neither is their club. He’s hiding it all from Lyker, at least that’s what he said last night. We killed everyone who showed up to bully us into more money, but first, they killed Ace for figuring out the truth before we could get there.”
“Shit,” Devon says, his voice a growl. “And my brother? You haven’t mentioned him yet.”
“I’m sorry, Devon. He… didn’t make it,” I reply. I swear, my stomach falls to my asshole as I speak the words. It’s just another way to reaffirm that Lore isn’t fucking coming back. His scent is surrounding me, but my alpha is gone. “He was shot in the chest, and we rushed him to the hospital. He died on the table.”
“It was just a gunshot,” Devon says. “Unless it was to the brain, my brother is strong enough to survive that.”
“I thought so too,” I agree. “We were in the waiting room when we got the news. I never thought I’d see the day when your brother wouldn’t come back from a firefight. You’re the first person I’m calling so I can get better at processing this.”
“Nah, you’re doing fine,” he mutters, blowing out a breath. “Listen, you have our support while you’re getting your boots under you as president. I need to pay Lyker a visit. My brother died in his town.”
I can’t hear much emotion outside of a sense of disbelief that his big brother is dead. Lore was larger than life, and I still have to remind myself to use the past tense when thinking about him. I’m sure I’ll fuck it up for a while. It just doesn’t seem real.
“First…” I don’t want him to hurry me off the phone yet to deal with his own pain. I need some feedback before I fuck something up. “Funerals. I want to bury Ace and Lore here, unless there’s a reason you object to it.”
“You’re the president,” he reminds me gently. “My opinion shouldn’t mean fuck all.”
“Maybe, but Lore was your brother. You might want to come visit him, or kick his tombstone. Either works.”
Devon snorts at my words, and I hear alcohol hit the bottom of a glass. It shows he’s much more affected than he’s pretending to be. “His girl is in Minneapolis, right?” he asks.
“He told you about her?” I ask, surprised. Even though I rode out with Lore to see Devon, I wasn’t around the entire time. He wanted privacy, so I stepped out of the room. Lore was a big boy, I didn’t need to follow him everywhere.
“Yeah,” he says with a raspy laugh. It’s the kind you have when you’re reminded of something painful and humorous. “Fierce blonde that was making him work for it. Yeah, he told me about her. She has roots in Minnesota, and I don’t want to pull her from that right now when she may need them to deal with Lore’s death. I’ll come to you.”
I stare up at the sky, struggling to breathe as I nod. “Yeah. Okay.”
“You gonna take care of her now?” he asks.
I don’t know how much he knows about my relationship with Lore, so I won’t out him. Club culture can be odd about this shit, and I don’t want Devon to have another thing to come to terms with.
“Yeah. She’s mine and Storm’s too,” I grunt. “We bought a place in Minneapolis, and Lore was trying to tie up loose ends so we could?—”
“Settle down? Play happy family?” Devon rumbles unkindly. Ah, there’s the tortured pain. Right on time.
“Not quite,” I say wryly. “Marie’s not a fan of the criminal side of our life. We’ve got a way to go before I go dropping an old lady patch on her. She’s tased me a few times, so it’s not for lack of grit. I worry Lore’s death will harden her.”
“I don’t know her,” Devon says. “Settle the burial details and I’ll head to Minneapolis to change that.”
“Why does that sound like a threat?” I groan. “You gonna take your brother’s girl?”
“Maybe I like to fuck men and I’ll try for you instead,” he sneers. “Yes, I know my brother was in a very tight relationship with you and Storm. It doesn’t sound like this girl is my type though, Wilder. I like mine a little less innocent.”
