Page 69 of Godbound
His eyes narrow slightly. “She said whatever power was there, it wasn’t something even the gods could handle. That we shouldn’t look in that direction at all. And so we lived in that wretched forest, alongside monsters. Nature provided for us, but the cost was control. Strict control. Even over who could couple.”
I stumble slightly, struggling to keep up. “You needed permission to marry?”
“Not permission,” he says coldly. “An order.”
“How awful,” I murmur, glancing at him. “At least here, we have some semblance of choice of when and with whom….” My voice trails off as heat creeps up my neck.
He grunts. “We were free to indulge in… other pleasures.”
I shake my head. “But why?”
“Azrakel’s children carried his magic. Weaker, but still potent. Calista believed that, in time, that magic would manifest fully in one of his descendants, a new god of Night and Stars. To hasten it, she bred them with humans, calling those who showed signs of magic Shadebloods. Her goal was simple: to create a man whose power could rival Azrakel’s, so she could make him her consort again.”
Kaelzar exhales through his nose, lips curling in quiet derision. The sentiment, for once, I share. The thought of breeding people turns my stomach. “Azrakel had been beloved among your people,” he continues. “When the next Trial of the Bound was to come, and there would be seven gods once more, Calista believed his resurrection would be seen as a holy miracle, one that would earn him countlessprayers during the Trial. With those prayers and Azrakel’s return, she hoped to rise higher still, to see him crowned as Sovereign God. And then, she planned to unleash him upon the gods who had turned their backs on her.”
The royal Palace looms ahead, its stone towers bathed in moonlight.
I sense the conversation is coming to an end, but there’s still so much I want to know about Elysium, the gods’ lives, their hierarchies. Still, one question gnaws at me the most.
“Is one of those Shadebloods the reason you were so angry about being… bound to me?” I ask, not quite sure why the answer feels so important.
Kaelzar’s face darkens, and for a moment, I think he won’t answer. But then he speaks, voice heavy with resignation.
“I was ordered to couple with a Shadeblood woman as unhinged as she is powerful. I refused. I couldn’t bring a child into that. But the punishment for disobedience would fall on the weakest in our village. So, I promised to save them. And I almost succeeded.” His jaw ticks as he clenches his teeth. For a moment, silence hums between us. Then he exhales as his shoulders ease just slightly.
When he speaks again, the edge has gone from his voice. “Until a human girl of this realm entered the Trial, needing a Godbeast.” His gaze flicks toward me, flat, but not unkind. “You were a huge inconvenience.”
I flinch at the word, my heart sinking. But before my thoughts spiral, I remind myself that I am not just fighting for my own life or heart. Thousands of Rust Hollow women will suffer if I don’t win.
Yet, knowing the risks Kaelzar has taken, doubt nibbles at me like a festering wound.
Can I truly bear the weight of all those lives, from my realm and his? Or will I prove as useless as I fear?
The weight of the question tightens around my chest like a vise. Fury rises with it, directed at the goddess I swore myself to. The excuses I’ve clung to for Calista’s ancient sins feel paper-thin now, so fragile I can almost see straight through them.
Yes, she was betrayed. Yes, she was heartbroken. But how could one being twist so completely, let her hate fester until it spilled across worlds, across generations?
“Why is she so cruel?” I burst out, my voice trembling with raw frustration. “Why does Calista keep punishing us for something that wasn’t even our fault?”
Kaelzar goes rigid, his eyes flashing with a dangerous glint as he steps back. “Do not speak ill of her,” he growls.
I freeze, blinking at him in confusion. The sharpness of the command stuns me.
It isn’t loyalty that burns in his glare, there’s something else lurking beneath the surface. I want to tear it from him, to force him to reveal the secret he guards so fiercely.
“Why not? There are no Divinity Gazes to spy on us here,” I challenge, gesturing to the shadowed streets around us.
“She is not to be spoken of in such a way in my presence,” he snaps, his voice rising with finality as he turns away from me.
I flinch at the harshness of his tone, but his intensity only fuels the anger simmering inside me.
“She threatens your people, yet you not only refuse to speak ill of her, you forbid me to do so!” I exclaim, anger thrumming in my ears so loudly I can barely hear my own thoughts.
Kaelzar keeps walking, ignoring me as if my words don’t even reach him. Confusion knots with anger until I can’t tell one from the other, just a pressure building behind my ribs, begging for release.
“Say something!” The shout tears out before I can stop it. He doesn’t even turn. That tiny act of indifference snaps something loose inside me.
“She killed your mother!” I throw the words at his back. “Why do you keep serving her so faithfully?”
