Page 80 of Winds of Ruin
“The sweetest things in life stay that way when preserved. Otherwise they rot.”
My chest grew tight.Ouch.I shouldn’t have followed them to the door. Her words echoed down the hall, loud and clear.
For so many years, I’d trailed El across the grounds. It felt natural to follow her now, like an adoring puppy. Maybe her name of endearment for me wasn’t so far off.
Elsedora had felt like she belonged in my arms. She fit there. If it hadn’t been for the biting cold, I’d have kept her in that pile of snow for eternity. How could she not feel it too?
I jogged back to the parlor as her steps grew nearer.
When she returned and padded over to her chair, my leg bounced and I itched to move.
As though sensing that, she asked, “Would you like a tour of the estate? We can walk and talk.”
“Very much so,” I said too quickly. “It’s beautiful, what you’ve done. The last time I was physically here, this place was inruins.” Waving a hand around the parlor, I soaked in every cozy detail. The rich oil paintings, the deep-burgundy curtains that were pulled back to expose dark oak windowpanes.
“Physicallyhere?” she questioned as she stood.
“Well...” I fumbled for words.
I’d depended on her comings and goings to ground me. Now, it felt like an invasion of privacy.
“I had dreams about seeing you here.”
Half-truth.
“You dreamed of me, puppy?” She tilted her head coyly, glancing my way as we walked beside one another down a wainscotted hallway.
My cheeks heated, and my stomach interrupted her teasing with a loud grumble. I hadn’t taken a bite of food for over twenty years as my body lay frozen in time.
I couldn’t actually remember what my last meal had been. El’s gaze wandered down to my abdomen, and it sent a course of heat through me when her eyes trailed lower.
“Hungry?” Her brow quirked up.
Her auburn hair was gathered atop her head in pins with wisps kissing her neck, and the woven wool robe she wore dipped just low enough in the front to reveal defined collarbones that guided my gaze downward.
I pulled my attention away. Fixating on her would do me no good.
She toyed with me for fun; it wasn’tgenuineinterest or attraction. Her honest words in the hall proved that. Maybe I’d put more weight into that day when she’d professed my importance to her than she’d meant.
“Ravenous,” I answered with too much insinuation. Maybe playing into her game would help cool my wish to embrace her again.
She’d always touched, tempted, and teased when she’d visited me at Helos. I cursed my inability to separate physical trysts and emotional connections like she could.
Wildflowers grew wherever they pleased—beautiful and untamed. My attachments were more akin to a bur stuck in one’s coat. I wouldn’t survive falling into a trap of unrequited affection. Not again.
Elsedora Lamoreaux would ruin me for any other if she gave me even a glimmer of hope.
I couldn’t lose her. I’d take whatever she offered. Settling for mere friendship was better than any alternative where she was not a part of my day.
She laughed, undeterred. “The kitchen is the first stop on our tour, then.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I caught pink overtake her pale freckled cheeks. She took pleasure in making me squirm; I’d never seen her look flustered.
Well, once... the night before our means of communication had ceased. When I’d imagined her feelings had blossomed into something more.
“So, a kiss woke me?” I asked.
Dread coursed through my veins. If Lark’s ramblings were true, then Sybilla had kissed me. It still surprised me thatshewas my truest of heart.
