Page 64 of Born of Starlight
She was out of breath and wordless, staring up at me and looking devastatingly wounded by my sudden dismissal. My mind screamed—get out, get out before you end up in that tub with her.
My legs couldn’t carry me out of the bathing chamber quickly enough, and I let the door slam shut behind me.
It was best to leave before doing anything more stupid than I already had.
Her words from earlier that day echoed back to me.
“That just isn’t how this story ends.”
Chapter18
Asterie
The sun rose the next day with agonizing brightness. Its rays cast light through the mud-colored curtains. My night had been spent with my head buried under the covers, wholly mortified by my actions. The things I hadsaidto him, what I hadaskedfor.
I barely knew him and yet had easily opened myself up to him.Such a damned fool.Yet the feeling of his hands on my skin had lingered and made my toes curl. He’d left me there, flustered and confused. I should have known he was more interested in the conquest than in me, but I couldn’t dispel the hurt that grew in my gut.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
I was no genteel maiden. Men had taken me before. But he hadn’ttakenanything from me—he’d given me release without expecting anything in return. That was the most mind-boggling of it all.Was it a display of power, of will?
I dreaded traveling with him today. This was precisely the reason the Sisterhood had a stringent no-fraternization policy. No bonds. No connections. No friends. Nolovers.Not that Fen was any of those—no,he was a war criminal and in our charge to be escorted to Luz. That wasall.
Curiosity and wine wouldn’t make a fool of me twice.
I braided my hair over my shoulder in an intricate fishtail then dressed in the breeches and tunic that I’d been able to launder at Fenris’ cabin. While slipping my black robe over my shoulders, I noticed the frayed edge where my Sisterhood patch had once been. I hadn’t asked for it back after what I witnessed in Kullworth.
My pack was ready, but I paced the small quarters for another twenty minutes to compose myself before finally deciding it was time to go downstairs and face him.There is no way out of this now.
A knock startled me out of my worried thoughts.
“It’s just me.” Fen’s voice was cheery and bright.Just him.Panic rose as I flung the door open.
“My behavior was inappropriate last night,” I blurted.
He raised his thick auburn brows.Why did he looksogood today?He was dressed in a dark green tunic and black breeches that clung to his athletic frame. His waves were combed back to perfection, and that infuriating, knowing smirk made my cheeks flush. He had even tamed his beard—it was now neatly trimmed tighter to his face. It reshaped his jawline in the most appealing way.
“Oh, it wasveryinappropriate, wasn’t it?” he teased, seeming to enjoy every second of my squirming. “These are for you—you missed breakfast.” He lifted a checkered cloth napkin containing sweet bread and a scone and placed it in my hands.
He eyed the desk behind me where the tray sat, empty. I’d indulged in the breads and cheeses after he’d left me reeling in anxious disbelief.
“Also, I promised a kitchen maid I’d return that tray. She said she would take my hand for the theft if I didn’t.” My cheeks were hot as he brushed past me to retrieve the tray. “Now that you know what these hands are capable of”—he wiggled the fingers on his free hand—“I’m sure you’re in full support of me not losing one.”
My mouth hung open at his lax choice of words. His nonchalant and chipper behavior this morning began to add up.Iwasjust a conquest.He knew he could have me, which took the fun out of the chase. My lips drew into a line, and my body straightened.
Disappointment slipped easily into anger—it was a kinder emotion than the one that had me recognizing something I didn’t want to.I liked Fenris in ways that I should not. I am the realm’s biggest fool.
It should have brought relief that what transpired the night before was simply a game to him. It should mean nothing—itdidmean nothing. But there was a tightness in my chest as he stepped out of my bedroom, turning back to look at me. I hated that my eyes roved over him.
“Never again,” I ground out between my teeth.
Fen chuckled and made a point of trailing his stare down my body, as though telling me that he’d caught me doing the same. “Whatever you say.” The flirtatious drawl was thrown over his shoulder. He’d already headed down the stairs before I could fully master my composure to respond. It seemed the warlock and I were back to the start.
Playing games.
* * *
The inn’scarpets were grayed in high-traffic areas, and a drunk lay asleep at the door with a stein still in hand. The morning sunlight cracked through the window, casting shadows on the wood paneling. I missed the stone and iron, the strength and stability, of my tower. But I didn’t misslivingin the tower.I would take hundreds more nights in a meager inn like this one—worn curtains, lumpy mattress and all.
