Page 51 of Gilded Shackles
Idon't even try to sleep at first. I just lie on my side, tucked under the covers of Nikolai's ridiculously oversized bed, staring at the ceiling like it's going to give me a sign on what comes next.
This is his room. His space. I've spent two weeks wondering if I'd ever end up here, and now I am. The sheets smell like him, like the scent has soaked into the fabric and isn't planning on leaving.
All I have to do is breathe and act normal.
Except I'm lying next to a man who has been ignoring me for two weeks after wrecking my soul on our wedding night. So yeah. No pressure.
He slides in beside me quietly, the mattress shifting with his weight. He doesn't say anything right away. Just pulls the covers up and settles in close enough that I feel his arm brush mine under the blanket.
We lie there while I rack my brain for something to say that isn't painfully awkward.
Nikolai solves the problem by turning off the lamp. The room plunges into darkness, and I feel him shift closer.
"Come here," he says. His voice a low rumble in the dark.
I hesitate for only a second before scooting toward him.
He turns toward me, slips one arm under my head, the other around my waist, and pulls me against that solid wall he calls a chest. I tense at first, not knowing how to just be. But then he strokes a hand down my back, and my body purrs, melting into his.
I close my eyes.
Savor the moment.
Because this is what I've wanted. Him, close. Him, real.
"This is good," he murmurs, his breath warm against my hair. "You didn't fight the move."
I can't help the laugh that bubbles up. "Honestly? I was wondering how long it would take you."
"Were you now?" He breathes into the back of my neck and I shiver.
"Mmhmm. Two weeks of strategic bikinis." I press my face into his chest to hide my smile.
"I noticed."
"And yet you made me wait."
"I was..." He searches for the word. "Adjusting."
"To what? Having a hot wife?" Look at me, flirting like I'm a pro. I don't know what I'm doing. But tonight it comes easy with him. Like my mouth bypasses the overthinking part of my brain entirely.
He huffs out something that might be a laugh. I'm calling it a win.
For a minute, neither of us speaks. It's not awkward. Just still. Comfortable in a way that makes me almost forget how strange everything is between us.
I shift and tilt my head up so I can see his face in the dim light.
"Can I ask you something?"
His hand tightens slightly on my waist. But he nods. "Yeah."
I hesitate for a second, then remind myself I don't need liquid courage every time a tough conversation comes around. You're a grown-up, Elle. Act like it.
"Pasha's mom. What happened?"
He goes quiet. Not tense exactly, but I feel his body still, like he's preparing himself to answer.
"I was different back then," he says finally. "Wild. Reckless."
