Page 287 of Gabriel
I inhale sharply. “Loving me is one thing. But I can’t be protected twenty-four-seven. Not from living life itself.”
Adriana nods. Her expression thoughtful. “I wasn’t there when Carlos died,” she tells me. “I’d already fucked up by then so I wasn’t in their friend group at the time. But I saw what he was like in the wake of it all. The empty, hollow shell.”
My heart hurts thinking of what it must have been like, losing his twin like that. It’s hard to think of Gabriel as a shell of himself when the Gabriel I see now is so vibrant and full of life.
“I wasn’t there when his parents got divorced either,” she tells me. “Or when his mom started taking the pictures of his brother and then of him down from her walls. We weren’t friends when his mom stopped looking at him. Or when his Dad started spending more time in the office or at a bar than he did at home.”
Her smile is soft and sad. “Alejandra didn’t leave by choice. But she left nonetheless. In the thick of Gabriel’s world falling apart when at the time, she was probably the only person he’d have accepted comfort from.”
I don’t ask how she knows about all of that. Adriana’s known Gabriel and the others since they were kids. And honestly, I don’t really care how she knows, because her words dump a bucket of ice-cold water over my head and make me instantly realize my mistake as I piece together the losses Adriana lays out for me.
His twin brother commits suicide.
His mother openly rejects him.
His father loses himself to alcohol and his grief.
One of his best friends moves away.
In such a short span of time, Gabriel lost so much.
Some by choice and others not, but still, the effect is all the same.
And now, here I am, doing very much the same. By protecting myself, I’m pushing him away. Rejecting him in a similar manner to that of everyone else who came before. I’m hurting Gabriel. I didn’t think about how much he’s already lost. How much it probably costs him every time he opens up, every time he fights for me, for us, knowing how easily rejection can come.
Oh my god. Last night … What did I do?
“You’re right,” I murmur, squeezing her hand back. “You’re so right. I can’t—” my breath seizes in my lungs. “I was selfish. I’ll fix this. I’ll—” I can’t finish the sentence. My chest is so tight. Gabriel had been forced into the role of protector. He was our very own Guardian Angel. I always thought of him as strong. Untouchable. But I never stopped to look at the flip side.
Abandonment.
No wonder Gabriel held on so tight.
No wonder he wanted to fix all of my problems. To protect me and make sure I was always okay.
No wonder he wanted to save me.
Because nobody bothered to save him when he needed saving.
Adriana's smile is soft. “It’s hard to see the hurt when someone is so good at hiding it,” she tells me. “And Gabriel’s had a lot of practice.”
“I’m going to fix this,” I tell her.
She nods, though her eyes still hold that familiar weight. “I know,” she tells me. “Because you love him.”
A ghost of a smile plays over my lips. “Yeah. I really do.”
“Damn straight,” she says with a playful shove. Then, she leans back, eyes on the ceiling. “You two are good together.”
Despite everything, I laugh, the tension easing just a little. “Thanks, Adriana.”
“Anytime,” she says, her lips quirking up into a smirk. “Now, seriously, go home and call your man back before he blows up your phone again. You know he’s not gonna let it go.”
I pick up my phone, glancing at Gabriel’s missed call with a new sense of clarity. She’s right. He won’t let it go—because he cares. Because he loves me. And I need to show him I feel the same, that I trust him with all of me, the good and the broken.
CHAPTER 99
CECILIA
