Page 2 of Cruel Promise
There is no future of mine in which she can be anything more to me than Aaron’s little sister, whether I want her to be or not.
And for the record, I don’t.
I can admit to liking having her around. The sex is great and when I’m inside her, the only words coming out of her mouth areyes, more,andplease. Words I don’t hear out of that smart mouth of her very often.
But great sex doesn’t change who we are. Or the fact that we don’t get along. At our best, we tolerate one another. At our worst, we’re at each other's throats. No matter how you spin this, what we’re doing right now is a recipe for disaster so why the hell haven't I put an end to it?
In some weird and messed up way, Kasey needs me. And not as a shoulder to cry on or someone to confide in.
If it was that easy, I’d be her friend. Or at least, I’d try to be. Hell, I actually did try, and it blew up in my face.
I tried to pump the brakes after the first few times we slept together. I pulled back and gave her some space. Space I assumed she needed, you know, to really grieve her mom and get her head on straight.
I still checked in on her, of course. I’m not a monster. I made sure she wasn’t alone. Had Allie and Bibiana calling her or dropping by each day. And I reminded my own sister, Monique, to check in on her, too. Kasey had all of the support she could need.
But if I thought backing off was doing her some kind of favor, I was wrong.
Instead of leaning on her friends, she spent her free time getting wasted and starting fights with random ass people who looked at her funny.
It’s like what little common sense she had in that pretty little head of hers flew right out the fucking window. And all I could think was it was my fucking fault.
Seeing a shiner on her face for the first time made me fucking murderous, and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it. Not when it came from another chick after Kasey threw the first freaking punch. I still don’t know what the hell started it. I don’t think Kasey does either.
She turned her grief into anger and lashed out at anyone unlucky enough to cross her path. She almost got herself kicked out of her sorority—not that I would have cared about that one. In fact, I almost wish she did. Maybe then she'd accept Aaron’s offer and move into our guest room, where I could keep an eye on her. But it’s like she needed a new outlet once I took sex off the table and Kasey was spiraling.
I held back as long as I could but Aaron was gone, dealing with his mother’s remains, and she was ignoring everyone else. What was I supposed to do?
The only way I knew how to fix it was to give her what she wanted. What she outright begged me for. And the fact that she begged me for anything at all is crazy to think about because Kasey hates me. But she sure as hell enjoys fucking me.
When her mom first died, she barely talked or ate. She was this empty shell of herself and sex… it helps. It did then, and it still does now. And if my choices are between watching her waste away, standing by as she spirals, or fucking her to the point of exhaustion so she can sleep and eat and fucking function, is it much of a choice at all?
My phone vibrates in my pocket, and I hastily pull it out to see Aaron’s name flash across the screen.
Hitting accept, I bring it to my ear and try to put thoughts of Kasey aside.
“Hey man. Everything good?” I know it isn’t. How could it be? His mom died, and he had to fly across the country to claim her body, jumping through endless hoops without getting time to deal with his own grief because taking a dead body across state lines comes with bullshit rules and red tape.
I’m worried about my best friend. Much like his sister, he has a rough time with real life shit like this. He doesn’t know how to process it and when shit hits the fan for Aaron, things usually go sideways. His former method of coping is to use drugs. An option he no longer has access to.
In high school, it started with weed. Then for a while he turned to pills. And when that didn’t cut it, he went off the deep end and started messing around with coke.
Getting into drugs wasn’t entirely his fault. There were outside factors at play but none of them are present now and I won’t let him get hooked on that shit again.
Aaron’s been clean for two years, but there’s this voice in the back of my mind telling me it’s only a matter of time. Once an addict, always an addict. I have to be vigilant. Look for any signs that he might be about to dive off the deep end again.
Aaron’s drawn-out sigh confirms my earlier thought that no, everything is not good, but he tries to pretend it is and since I’m not there with him and can’t do shit about it right now, I let the lie slide. But I’ll need to get a better read on him when gets back to Sun Valley.
“Yeah. The funeral home got around to having her cremated. Fucking finally,” He grumbles. “I can fly back first thing tomorrow if that’s not too soon.”
“Not at all,” I say, careful to keep my voice down. “I’ll get the flight arranged. It’ll be good to have you back.” I glance to see that she’s still asleep. “Good for Kasey, too.”
I’m not close with my own sister. We went to different high schools and had vastly different lives. I rejected damn near everything my parents wanted for me growing up while Monique was the one who always fell in line.
It made things strained between us at times. But, I’ve always made it a point to look out for her. To be there whenever she needs me and I know Aaron tries to do the same for Kasey. But he hasn’t been able to this time around.
They should have been able to lean on one another, but with all the arrangements that’ve needed to be made, there’s been no time. Maybe once he gets back, Kasey will sort herself out and she won’t need me anymore.
The thought makes my brows pull together and a tight feeling takes root in my chest but I ignore it when Aaron releases another sigh. I can tell without needing to see him that he’s pacing whatever hotel room he’s staying in, his nerves likely frayed.
