Page 72 of Wicked Wolves and Tangled Truths
A tear slips down my cheek and I furiously swipe it away. “You shouldn’t be here,” I tell him.
“Isabella. Por favor. Déjame ayudarte.”Please. Let me help you.
I want help. I do. But—
“How?” I choke on the word. “How can you help me? Josué, I feel like I’m dying inside, and I wish I was dying on the outside, too. I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to feel this. Anything.I can’t.I can’t do this anymore. I just—”
He pushes from the ground but stays by the door. A sob mixed with a whimper passes through my lips. He freezes. Hands clenched into fists at his sides, his eyes plead with me, but I don’t know what he wants.
A tick forms along his jaw and he scrubs a hand over his face, leaving behind a weary expression. “I want to hold you. Can we… do you think we can try?”
I have no freaking idea. Closing my eyes, I slow my breathing while my mind races, rationalizing his request. The only person who’s touched me is Natalia. But Josué is my friend. I trust him. I know him. I …
“Can I see your hands,” I ask.
He frowns, confused but raises them palms out to face me. I shake my head. “Turn them around.”
He does without question. I take in the backs of his hands already knowing what I’ll find. Both hands are inked, one sporting a large skull with red roses on either side. The other is tattooed with a strand of rosary beads and a cross resting between his thumb and index finger. A shifter’s skin under normal circumstances would reject the ink, but I was with him when he got both tattoos. A diluted silver alloy was added to the ink, enough to kill the Lyc-V where the tattoo was applied so the ink could be embedded in his skin, and then a witch sealed it with magic. It was painful, even by shifter standards.
I focus on the ink, tracing the lines of the designs with my gaze. I force myself to recognize the differences between his hands and those of my attacker. Beyond the ink I take in the gold band he wears on his right middle finger. The bronze color of his skin.
My breathing slows and my shoulders relax. Josué is patient with me, letting my eyes drink their fill. Several minutes pass before I feel confident enough to let him step closer.
With exaggerated slowness, he walks toward me. When he’s only inches away, he slowly peels his t-shirt off, exposing broad shoulders and a toned stomach. He crouches, offering me his shirt, and with shaking hands, I accept it. I tug the material over my head and breathe in his scent. A familiar sense of peace cocoons me.
Beside me now, we both wait. When I don’t have a panic attack, he shifts closer, leaning forward to pick me up.
Cradled in his arms he carries me to my bed and takes a seat, leaning against the headboard with me nestled between his legs and his arms wrapped around me.
I swipe at my eyes and hold myself perfectly still as he buries his nose in the crook of my neck. Neither of us moves. My deep, deliberate breaths are loud in the quiet room, but he doesn’t seem to mind. We sit there and as the minutes pass, I slowly relax.
Angling sideways, I press my ear against his chest over the sound of his beating heart. I soak in the warmth of his body, a stark contrast to a vampire’s chilling skin. His grip around me tightens and I manage to breathe through it.
One hand comes up to mindlessly stroke my hair. “I’m so fucking sorry, Isa,” he says.
I nod against his chest. “Me, too,” I whisper, almost afraid to break the silence in the room. “But I’m really happy you’re here.”
* * *
I spendthe morning with Josué and for the first time since the attack, I feel like I can breathe again. He tells me he’s staying all week. Longer, if I need it. He already got it cleared with his parents and Pack, and he’s staying in the guest room in the pool house. There are plenty of empty rooms in the main house for him to stay in, but he seems content to stay in the pool house, so I don’t question it. It’s probably Brian being Brian. I’m surprised he allowed Josué to visit in the first place since he’s from my former Pack, so I’m not about to say anything that might jeopardize that.
I’m happy Josué’s here. I missed him. I hadn’t realized how much until he arrived, but just having him near is like a balm to my frayed nerves. My wolf is equally pleased to have a packmate close by. She trusts him. Knows he’s our friend. And that reassurance keeps my anxiety at bay.
Josué fills me in on the particulars of his stay. He’ll be going to school with me. I don’t know how but Natalia got him cleared as a visiting student. I guess the plan is for him to attend all my classes with me for a week so I won’t have to face school alone.
I still don’t know if going back to school is a good idea. But when I broached the subject of getting my GED, Natalia shot it down and said it wasn’t even worth trying to bring up to my father. I didn’t have to go to Hellbound High if I didn’t want to. They’d allow me to transfer. But the prospect of an all-human school didn’t sound any better than returning to Hellbound High so I resigned myself to my fate.
The following morning when my alarm goes off, I force myself to get out of bed. The heaviness in my chest I’ve had since the attack is lighter. It’s still there, but today, it feels bearable.
I’ve had enough time to wallow in my own misery. More time than I ever gave myself after Mom died. It’ll have to be enough. The pain has receded to a dull ache and all physical signs of the attack have faded. I’m still weak. My reflexes dampened. But unless you’re really looking, it’s not noticeable.
After spending all day yesterday with Josué, I’ve convinced myself I’ll be okay.
We didn’t talk about the assault. He knows what happened and I don’t have any desire to relive the memories just so he can hear the story from my own mouth. Thankfully, he never pushes me. Not that I expected him to. Josué is the strong silent type. He’s the mountain that refuses to move no matter how hard the wind blows. Growing up, he was my rock. The big brother I never had. He gets me. He gets what I need.
Being held, knowing that I was safe in his arms, that the world couldn’t hurt me as long as he was there, gave me the reprieve I needed to pull myself together.
We spent most of the day catching up on random things and eating whatever food we could find in the fridge. Well, he did at least. I still haven’t been eating.
