Page 158 of Wicked Savage Cruel
Moisture pools in the corners of her eyes, but she blinks it away before holding her arms out to hand Luis to me, her movements stiff, almost robotic. I take him, careful to support his weight as she hands me his diaper bag. “Because the other night made me realize a few things I hadn’t stopped to consider.”
I flick my gaze between her and Luis and wait. He smiles, showcasing the two bottom teeth he has, and I take a second to properly greet him. “You ready to spend the day with your old man?” He gurgles and jabbers, swinging his arms and kicking his feet.
Bibiana remains quiet, so I decide to push.
“Like what?”
“I don’t trust you.”
Ouch. I mean, that much was already clear with how she reacted, but hearing it aloud is still like a knife to the gut.
“But—”
She raises a hand. “Let me finish.”
I give her a stiff nod, clinging to my son like a lifeline.
Bibiana’s chest rises and falls with her breaths and she turns to Jae for a moment. He gives her a nod of encourage and that alone makes my hackles rise. What is he encouraging her to do here, exactly?
“Luis needs to come first, always.”
“He does.”
“But he won’t if we’re fighting. I don’t want to risk burning bridges with you. We’re both young. A relationship would have never worked out between us. Not long-term.”
“You don’t know that,” I bite out. She’s refused to give this a real chance, fighting me every step of the way. She didn’t want to get married. Didn’t want to fucking date. I don’t even know what to call what we’ve been doing, but even that was half-assed on her part.
But before I can say any of that she continues, “Seeing you with Sarah the other night made me hate you. It made me want to hurt you and the best way to do that is with him.” She nods toward Luis. “I don’t want to be that person. I don’t ever want to use him against you or have him used against me. He isn’t some bargaining chip and I hate myself for even considering it.”
Air freezes in my lungs as her words hit their mark and my eyes narrow. She folds her arms across her chest and looks away. A single tear slips past her defenses and she hastily wipes it away.
“We can’t afford to be at one another’s throats. We can’t feud and fight. This can’t be messy. We have a child together and that’s complicated enough. Trying to date, to be whatever it is that you want, it just makes an already complicated situation worse. I think for both our sakes, we need to focus on being co-parents. Not—not anything more.”
I stand there, stunned. I expected her anger. Her fury and hatred even. But I was prepared to fight for her. To convince her of my innocence. Now, I don’t know what to do. My mind is left reeling. She knows I didn’t cheat but she still doesn’t want me. I’m not worth the effort, I guess. Not worth her time. And that she even considered keeping Luis from me…
I bite the inside of my cheek harder until blood pools in my mouth, the metallic taste grounding me.
She clears her throat. “Everything you’ll need should be in the bag, but if it isn’t, call me.”
I nod my head.
“He ate about thirty minutes ago so he should be okay for at least another hour.”
I nod again.
“Oh, and he’s happy and awake now but he usually takes his second nap around two, so you’ll notice he’ll start to get crabby. Hischupeta”—pacifier—“is in the right-side pocket and his blanket is in the large compartment. He won’t sleep without both of them.”
I know all of this already, having picked most of it up during our time together, but I let her run through her list before she tells Luis goodbye.
“Alright. I guess we’ll be on our way.”
“Okay.”
Fuck. Fine. This is not how I planned shit to go. I turn and take two steps towards the SUV when Bibi calls out, “Wait,” and I freeze thinking maybe she’s changed her mind. Maybe—
She rushes to me and gives Luis a quick kiss on the cheek, running her hand lovingly over his hair. “Okay.” She seems to gather herself. “Have a great time together. And if you need—”
“Bibi…”
