Page 125 of Wicked Savage Wolves
I swallow hard, but nod and push back to my feet.
He flicks his eyes between me and César. He opens his mouth. Closes it. Opens it again. His nostrils flare as he takes in our scent and I can see the moment he puts two and two together. His mouth tightens, brows drawn, eyes glued to the boy in my arms.
“Come on,” Desmond calls, ducking back inside. “Zheng’s in his car with the girls. He’s shifted back and will drop them off and then head to Rafael and Isa’s so we can all figure our shit out and plan for whatever retaliation the local vampire Seethe will have in store over all this. After Rafe’s dad drops Diego off at the station he’ll be heading there too. We need to get our stories straight.”
Jordy doesn’t move.
“J, come on.” Desmond grabs his arm but Jordy jerks free and shoves him away with a snarl. His chest is rising and falling at a rapid pace, his nostrils flaring.
“You have a son?” Pain slashes across his face and a muscle ticks in his jaw as he visibly fights to keep it together. When I don’t answer, he takes a step back and shouts, “I have a son?” It’s as if the entire house shakes with the force of his voice.
I don’t know what to do or what to say, so I just stand there frozen in place. Desmond looks between us, seeing the baby boy in my arms, and his expression tightens. “Jordy, now isn’t the—”
“Nah. No way, man. No fucking way.” He shakes his head. “I don’t even need to ask,” he says to me, and César starts to cry. “He carries my scent.” I bounce him on my hip and make soothing noises in the face of Jordy’s anger. He’s fuming. If it were possible for steam to be coming out of his ears, it would be. His face is red and the veins on his neck stick out in sharp relief. All I can do in the face of his anger is swallow hard and hold César to me a little tighter.
Jordy catches the movement and his eyes narrow. “Are you fucking kidding me?” he barks. “You think I’d hurt him? My own kid?” His eyes narrow into slits, “Because that’s what he is. Mine,” he all but roars.
I freeze.
“Say it!” he snarls.
Desmond steps forward and places a hand on Jordy’s shoulder. “Hey, why don’t we—”
“Fuck that. Say it, Jo. Admit that he’s mine.” I nod, and Jordy shrugs Desmond off again, his movements sharp as he begins to pace. “She kept my kid from me. My son.” He slaps a hand over his chest. “My son.” His jaw clenches. “What the fuck, Joaninha? What did I ever do to you to warrant that? Huh? Am I not good enough? Is it because I’m a shifter?” His voice rises with each word until he’s practically shouting at me, and all I can do is stand there knowing I deserve his anger. His rage.
César’s crying increases at Jordy’s harsh tone, and a silent tear slips past my defenses to trek down my cheek. This isn’t how I wanted this to go. None of this is what I wanted.
“Jordy—” Desmond tries again. He flicks his gaze toward me. “Maybe you should—”
“No.” He shakes his head, anger etched into every line of his body. “Give me my son.” Jordy holds his arms out but I take an involuntary step back.
His eyes blaze. “Let me hold my son, Joaninha.” He spits out my name with so much venom, I visibly shudder but manage to stand my ground and shake my head.
“You’re angry.”
“You would be too,” he snarls.
I rock César in my arms, running my hand over the back of his head in a soothing gesture as I struggle to remain calm. “I know. I’m not saying you shouldn’t be. But you’re angry and right now, you’re scary.” Really fucking scary. I don’t think Jordy would hurt me or César, but seeing him like this, it’s unnerving to say the least. “I’m sorry. But I’m not handing him to you. Not like this.”
I sway my body side to side and César’s cries finally stop. He sniffles a few times before his head rests against my shoulder. Exhaustion finally taking hold. When his eyes close, I release a small sigh of relief and turn back to the angry boy before me. Jordy’s entire body is taut like a bowstring. I can tell he wants to argue, but instead he gives me a stiff nod. He heads to the sofa and sits down, bowing his head and running his hands through his dark brown hair. His shoulders slump in defeat, and so many emotions run through me. Sorrow. Pain. Regret. I chance a look in Desmond’s direction, but instead of finding anger or disgust like I expect, I find resignation. I’m not sure that is any better.
“This wasn’t how I wanted you to find out,” I say the words in little more than a whisper.
“I’m sure you had your reasons for not telling him,” Desmond chimes in, not bothering to lower his voice, ensuring Jordy hears his words. “I can’t imagine being a single mom is easy. You’ve had to make some tough decisions. Sometimes they’re good ones. Other times maybe they’re not.”
I nod, worrying my lower lip. This obviously wasn’t one of my better ones.
“But, I can see you love that little boy.” He tilts his chin toward his friend. “Do right by him and give Jordy a chance to love him too.”
It’s all I’ve ever wanted to do. I didn’t mean to keep César a secret. I wanted to tell him. It just never seemed like the right time. I’m so angry with myself for letting this happen. For letting it come out like this.
Desmond tosses his keys beside Jordy and heads to the door. “I’ll catch a ride with Zheng. Call me if you need anything. We’ll fill you in later when you have time.” Jordy doesn’t respond, not that Desmond waits for him to.
When the door closes behind him, I stand there for a few moments, almost afraid to move, before I muster up the courage to say, “I’m going to lay him down in his crib. If…” I take a deep breath. “If you’re still here when I come back and you want to talk, we can do that.”
He doesn’t answer, so I head upstairs and gently lay César in his crib before slipping into the bathroom. My cheeks are red and blotchy, my eyeliner smudged beneath my eyes, the small wing at the corners long since rubbed away. I wash away the emotions of today and go back downstairs, almost surprised to find Jordy in the exact same spot I left him in.
A part of me was sure he would have left. I’m not sure if I should be relieved that he chose to stay.
