Page 104 of Wicked Savage Wolves
“There’s breastmilk in the freezer and I have my phone on me. If he gets too fussy. I can always—”
“Go, Joaninha. We’ll be fine,” my mom tells me. I hesitate for a moment before the sound of the horn again jerks me into motion. With each month that passes, César’s abilities grow, but I have to trust that Mom can handle it. I don’t have an alternative.
I give César a kiss on the cheek, grab my breakfast, along with a bottle of water—my security blanket—and head for the door. “Call me if—”
“Yes. I know,minha filha. I raised you, and you turned out fine. Stop worrying. Go. Have fun.”
Fun isn’t the word I would use to describe high school, but I keep my feelings to myself and hurry outside. I’m going to a hybrid school. I should be excited. I want to be excited.
Jaejun Yu—Jae for short—is standing in my driveway beside a sleek, cherry red Acura TLX. He grins when he looks up from his phone and realizes I’m there before he rushes around to the passenger side to open my door.
“Thanks.” I offer him a tight smile and slide into the passenger seat, tucking my backpack between my legs on the floor as he jogs around the car to get back in. I hate when he does that. I know he’s being chivalrous or whatever, but it still feels weird. Like it means something more than it should. The water inside the bottle sloshes around with a mind of its own, and I have to force myself to stop and take a deep breath. My abilities have been—sporadic to say the least since having César.
“You all set?” he asks, a smile on his too-handsome face. He leans forward and tucks a strand of my curly black hair behind my ear, lingering a second longer than he should before settling back in his seat. “You look beautiful, Jo.”
Water explodes in a gush, forcing the cap off the bottle and splashing Jae in the face before I manage to stop the stream in its tracks. The water hovers in the space between us. I grimace at my obvious lack of control and mutter, “I’m so sorry,” as I direct the water back into the bottle and buckle my seat belt.
He only laughs. Jae lifts the hem of his shirt, exposing washboard abs, and wipes his face before putting the car in reverse like nothing happened. That’s probably because lately, this happens a lot. But I’m working on it. A month ago Jae would have been drenched.
Jae squeezes my knee in comfort, and I have to force myself not to shift away from the contact. Don’t get me wrong, Jae is great. He’s kind and handsome and he’s always there to lend a helping hand, like right now—taking me to school when he doesn’t even go to Hellbound High. He isn’t even in high school. He graduated two years ago and works with Diego now, so why he insists on driving me and wasting his time baffles me. But he’s always eager and willing to help. Even when I shoot him in the face with water.
I sound ungrateful. It’s just that Jae tries really hard. All the time. We met at one of Diego’s work events and we sort of hit it off. But in the let’s-be-best-friend’s-way, not the I-want-to-date-you way. I thought we were on the same page, but the more and more we’re around one another, I get the feeling that we’re not.
He’s interning with Diego’s security firm and he has his entire life laid out in front of him. Everything meticulously planned to ensure success. He’s a druid working for a vampire and I have a feeling it sounds just as nefarious as it is. I’m not interested in being with anyone who has business dealings with Diego. Don’t get me wrong. He’s never been anything but nice to me, but he’s still a vampire and while my mom might wear rose-colored glasses when he’s around, I’m not blind to Diego’s more questionable business dealings.
I’d like to think Jae is keeping his hands clean. That what he does with Diego is on the up and up, but there are too many red flags. He stops by to pick up mysterious packages at the house from Diego all the time and takes them god only knows where. He drives a flashy car and has a fancy house despite only being twenty years old with no immediate family close by, so this isn’t some generational wealth thing. And he always has money. Cash in large quantities that no normal person would risk carrying around with them.
I don’t know what all he’s involved in and I don’t want to know. I realize that makes me a crappy friend, but I don’t have the mental capacity to focus on anything or anyone beyond school and César.
I don’t know why Jae would be interested in a girl like me, and even Mom likes to nudge me in his direction every chance she gets. Jae’s an exotic kind of good-looking. Half Korean and half Italian, he has hazel eyes and dark brown hair worn long on top in a bun and shaved on the sides. He turns more than a few heads when he enters a room, and there is zero question as to why. His cheekbones are high and sharp, his jawline angular, and there’s just something striking about him that makes it hard to look away, but…I sigh. Even if I was interested and willing to overlook his questionable dealings, I don’t have time for a relationship. And even if I did, I’m not sure I want one.
Besides, with my luck, the next person I sleep with will get me pregnant too and then instead of a psyker-shifter baby, I’ll have psyker-druid baby. Maybe I’ll have a baby with a guy from every faction? Really mix things up. I snort. Definitely not.
Diego was able to pull some strings and pay who knows who to find a doctor willing to give me the wonderful IUD I had implanted after César was born. That should keep me pregnancy-free even from supernatural sperm, at least for the time being, I hope.
Big Pharm still isn’t up and running since the Awakening and it’s not like there are a lot of case studies on IUDs with paranormals, but it’s better than nothing. Beggars can’t be choosers.Accidents happen and while I wouldn’t trade César for anything in the world, my days of being reckless are over. No more unplanned pregnancies for me, thank you very much.
I haven’t been with anyone since César’s father. Pathetic, I know. I get one night of incredibly reckless sex only to become a spinster afterward. It’s unfair. I grit my teeth and silently curse him. Thinking back on that night all this time later, my skin still prickles with heat, my body still desperate and longing for him. It’s naive of me to think one day our paths will cross again. I know that. But it doesn’t stop me from looking. The little girl inside of me still believes in fairy tales regardless of how stupid it sounds. I think a teeny, tiny piece of me will always wonder what would happen if I saw him again. If he knew about César?
It’s not like I owe him my fidelity or anything, but…I don’t know. A part of me feels like the idea of pursuing something with anyone else would be a betrayal. Maybe that’s what is really holding me back.
It’s been eighteen months since KeAnna and I crashed a Hellbound Party, and unless he was a lot older than he looked and already graduated, there is a chance he still goes to Hellbound High.
If he does, I’m going to find him. And if he doesn’t, maybe I’ll finally be able to put that night behind me.
45
Jo
High school is the same hell I remember, only somehow worse. At my old school, people at least smiled my way before they ignored me. It was like church, where everyone is nice to your face for the sake of appearances. They kept their pettiness and bullshit for moments behind your back where you can’t hear them.
Which is all fine. There, I had a solid friend group already in place. I knew who to trust. Who was a real friend, and who was fake and should be avoided. I wasn’t Miss Popular by any means, but I wasn’t an outcast either.
Here, there is no mock politeness and there is zero common courtesy in these hallways. I’m the new girl and everyone has already decided to hate me on sight. I’m greeted with looks of disgust or ignored entirely. The cliques here go beyond the typical high-school crap. They’re blood deep. Shifters with shifters, and even then many are divided by Clan. The witches are all together. The harpies and fae and vampires too. Each forming a tight-knit group with clear “no outsiders allowed” vibes.
It’s infuriating, and not the reception I’d been hoping for, but there isn’t anything I can do about it. I spotted a few people I thought might be psykers like me, but it turns out they’re only human and as soon as I even mention I’m notstrictly human, they turn away and pretend I no longer exist. I get the whole safety-in-numbers thing. If I was strictly human I’d probably do the same but…it’s just so frustrating.
The best I can hope for is to skate through and not cause any waves while drawing minimal attention to myself. The school’s administration knows I’m a breastfeeding mom and a psyker. They’ve made some accommodations for me, and my teachers have been made aware that I’ll sometimes arrive a few minutes late if I need to pump before class. Thankfully, the school is letting me duck into the nurse’s office when I need to, so I don’t have to resort to using the girl’s bathroom.
