Page 72 of Savage Devil
“What the hell does that mean?”
He glares at me. His eyes little more than slits. “For fuck’s sake,” he grinds out. “It’s Italian.”
“I don’t know if anyone told you, but you’re Asian.”
He stares up at the sky as if answers are going to fall from it.
“??, happy?”
Whatever he said sounded likejenjang.“Cool, you speak Italian and Chinese. Bravo. Are we showing off now?”
His jaw flexes.“I’m not Chinese, asshole. I’m half Korean, half Italian. Not Asian. Not Chinese.” He mutters something under his breath that is probably more swearing, not that I care. “Do you like being called Hispanic?”
My chest puffs up, but then I realize what he’s doing.Fucker.“Point made.”
He grunts.
“Look, I don’t have all day and you’re not exactly the company I want in my face right now so if you’ve got something else to say, get on with it.”
He scowls and shakes his head. “I don’t know why I’m wasting my time.”
Cool. Leave then. I don’t know why he’s wasting his time either. I sure as hell didn’t ask for him to come here. He looks like he’s about to do exactly that, but then he hesitates.
“You know she had a baby brother?” he asks, and while no, I didn’t, what does that have to do with anything?
“He died when he was a kid. She named Luis after him. His middle name.”
My brows pull together.Afonso.I just figured it was a name she liked or maybe her dad’s or something. I don’t know. I never thought to ask. But thinking about it now, why didn’t I know this?
“After her brother died, her dad left. Couldn’t handle the grief, so he bailed.”
My jaw locks. Seems we have that in common. Our parents take off when the going gets tough.
“And now, her mom has all but forgotten about her. She’s so afraid to be alone again that she’s put on rose-colored glasses and can’t even see the monster she’s throwing her daughter away for.”
I suck in a breath. “Why are you telling me all this?” I’m not complaining. I want to know these things about Bibiana’s life, but it grates on my nerves that he’s known all these things about her and I never even had a clue. I know shit is strained with her mom. It’s why she brings Luis to school. But I figured they’d work it out. Bibiana said they were close. Her mom had always been there for her. You’d think she’d snap out of trying to save her rapist boyfriend eventually or at least be a fucking parent.
“So you can get it through your thick head that in her mind, you’re already fucking gone. It’s always been a forgone conclusion.” He tugs off his beanie and runs his hands through his hair, forgetting that it’s tied back in a top knot and messing up whatever style he was going for. K-pop wannabe or some shit.
“You’re not making any sense.”
“Everyone leaves,” he tells me. “Her brother died. Her dad left. He mom has all but abandoned her. Everyone leaves that girl eventually, whether by choice or circumstance. She might not admit it, but in the back of her mind, she knew you’d bail. That’s why she jumped to the wrong conclusions. Why she pushed you away even after she knew the truth. She’s just been waiting for you to leave and right now, you’re proving her right.”
I bite my lower lip and suck my teeth as a lead weight settles deep in my gut. My own baggage comes back to punch me in the face, and I realize I’m doing to Bibiana what I expected her to do to me all this time—give up.
My nostrils flare. “So you think shewantsme to fight for her? Despite that being the exact opposite of what she told me she wanted.”
“I know she wants you to fight for her. She’s miserable. A shell of the girl she used to be.”
We’re both damaged. Broken beyond repair. Neither of us willing to trust the other enough to make this work but…. I stumble back a few steps and look around, for what, I’m not sure. I just—my brain is moving a mile a minute. Think, Emilio. Think. Everyone leaves. But, what if they didn’t have to? What if we could be the missing piece to fill each other’s broken spaces?
I’ve been going at this all wrong. Fuck what everyone else has been telling me. She never needed space. She needed me to push. To not stop pushing. But I did stop. I stopped for three fucking weeks and just left her alone. I did nothing to show her that I was still here, waiting. That I’d always be here.
“Where is she?” I whirl back around to face him, an idea already forming. “Where is she right now?”
Face drawn, he shakes his head. “I don’t know but you need to think—”
“I’ve been thinking.” That’s all I ever do. I think about how this girl who owns my bleeding fucking heart doesn’t want it. How I’m not good enough. How I’ll never be good enough. But what if she doesn’t see me like that? What if she doesn’t think I’m worthless. Even if I am.Fuck.I scrub my hands over my face. How could I be so stupid? I’ve been angry, so goddamn angry that she could just give up on us like that. Throw me away like I meant nothing to her, but that wasn’t what she was doing. She was protecting herself.
