Page 66 of Savage Devil
“Take a breath,” Allie says, handing me a cup of something warm. Cocoa by the looks of the mug. I accept the drink and take a sip, immediately recognizing the spiced flavor of Abuela’s hot chocolate, but I barely taste it. Everything feels bland to my senses, my world a colorless haze of gray.
I take another drink, hoping the warmth will seep into my bones and calm me down, but it does nothing for me. My leg won’t stop bouncing. My mind is racing a mile a minute trying to come up with a way to win my girl back. If I could just talk to her…
“Emilio?”
I look up from my cup.
“Whatever you’re thinking, stop. It’s not that bad.” Allie says, dropping down into Roman’s lap and leaning against him. We’re all sitting in their living room—Dominique, Roman, Allie and I, as I try to come up with a plan, but so far, I’ve got nothing.
I scrape my bottom lip through my teeth and shake my head. “You don’t know that. You didn’t see the look on her face when she left—”
“She thinks you cheated. That this probably isn’t the first time,” Allies admits as if I don’t know that already, but hearing it aloud pisses me right the fuck off.
“I didn’t cheat!” I snap at her, shoving to my feet. “I never cheated. Not once.”
Roman glowers at me. “Calm the fuck down and don’t yell at her,” he bites out.
Dominique’s hand on my shoulder stops me from stepping closer and instead I sit back down, my shoulders slumping in defeat. “I didn’t fucking cheat. I told you guys what happened. I wouldn’t—“
“We know,” Allie says. “And we believe you. Just… give her some time. Right now, she’s hurt and—”
“She doesn’t need to be. If she would just talk to me. Let me explain. I could fix this.”
Allie nods her head, a solemn look in her dark brown eyes. “I know. But she asked for some space. You need to give her that. Let her realize her mistake on her own terms. Don’t push her or you’ll end up pushing her away. You have a visit with Luis tomorrow, right? It won’t kill you to wait one more day to see her.”
I tighten my jaw.It might.
I hate that I’m using the visit too. I want to see my boy. I have the right to. But I won’t lie. I’m one hundred percent leveraging that against her as a way to make her see me. The only communication I’ve had from Bibiana since last night is a text saying she’ll send me the address to Jae’s tomorrow an hour before my scheduled time to pick up Luis. That was it. This wasn’t even supposed to be our first one-on-one visit. I was going to hang out with her. With them. But I guess she’s pissed enough to rush our timeline along. I should be happy about that. I get my boy. But, fuck. I want her too.
She won’t even leave her phone on long enough for me to respond. I can’t lose her. The thought alone has me feeling paralyzed. Helpless. There’s this ache in my chest that won’t subside. I don’t want to be without her. She’s…she’s everything. I won’t lose her. Not over something like this.
* * *
My palms are sweating.I’m picking up my kid from another dude’s house. One who I’m sure is enjoying playing house with what is mine.
“Emilio, you need to calm down,” Dominique, the voice of reason, says beside me in the passenger seat. Roman and Aaron are sitting in the back, the three of them having collectively decided I couldn’t be trusted to handle this on my own. “If Bibiana sees you like this, no way in hell is she letting you leave with Luis.”
My lip curls and I scowl at him, flicking on my turn signal as I take a left at the stop sign. “He’s my kid,” I remind them.
Dom snorts. “Like that fucking matters. Bibi is going to see you and go full on momma bear. Remember what happened the night you found out Luis was yours? She didn’t cave to you then and she won’t cave to you now. Take a breath. Chill.”
I do as he instructs, but the tension riding me keeps me stiff. She’s been avoiding my calls. Avoiding me. And now, picking my kid up like this, none of it sits well with me. We pull up to the address she gave me, and I immediately spot Jae’s car. I figured he’d be here. It is the fucker’s house after all, but she could have at least—I don’t know—asked him to leave for a little bit.
I tighten my grip on the steering wheel for a second before I force myself to open the door and step outside. “Breathe,” Aaron tells me. “You’ve got this.” The walk to the front porch feels like I’m heading to a funeral, but I have a plan. I just have to keep my eye on the prize. I ramp myself up as if I’m about to step on the field. I’ve got this.
All I gotta do is explain what actually happened the other night. Make her listen. Once she knows, she’ll understand. I get why she’s hurt. Angry. Hell, if I thought she stepped out on me I’d be pissed too. But this is nothing. We can get past it. I’m sure of it. I take a deep breath. Stick to the plan.
I knock three times on the door before it swings open and it’s Jae’s face that greets me.
“Hey,” he says in way of greeting and opens the door wider, taking me by surprise. I figured he’d posture or some shit. Try and knock me down a few pegs. He picked her up from the party. He saw what a mess she was. I’m sure she’s told him what she thought happened, so I expected anger from him. Or maybe satisfaction. But I get none of that. Just mild resignation.
Despite the greeting, I shake my head. I don’t want to go inside. I don’t want to be anywhere near this fucker because I am two seconds from going off and slamming my fist into his face.Breathe,I remind myself. He can downplay whatever he’d like, but I know he wants my girl and I’m sure he’ll use this situation to his advantage. If I were in his shoes, I would.
My worry from last night has morphed into righteous anger. I need someone to take it out on and unfortunately for me, it can’t be him.
“Where’s Bibiana?”
He sighs and disappears down the hallway leaving the door open for me to follow. I don’t. But I can’t stop myself from looking around, my eyes taking in the scattered toys and Bibiana’s backpack near the door. She’s made herself right at home.
