Page 44 of Secret Heart
The others with her giggle, their cheeks flushing. I wordlessly touch the brim of my hat, and the girl who asked squeals.
“Could we get a picture?”
Before I can say anything, all four of them surround me, holding out their phones. Lance backs up a few steps, ensuring he’s out of the frame. I manage to plaster on that unfeeling smile that fools everyone just before they take the first set of photos.
“Thank you!” one of the women says, her cheeks darker than the others. She twists her hands into the skirt she’s wearing. It’s clear she’s hoping I’ll offer more than the photos. My number or maybe even an invitation to a rodeo. Other bull riders do it all the time, an easy way to find partners. I pretend I don’t notice and tip my hat again. Her face falls, but I pretend I don’t see that, either. She drops her attention down to her phone. Lance silently rejoins me as the women look over the various photos. He chuckles a bit once we’re around the next corner.
“Well,” he says, tucking his hands in his pockets, “that break’s really helping.”
I sigh but don’t deny it. A month ago, even before the Drop, that kind of encounter would have had my skin crawling. I rub the back of my neck, using the movement as an excuse to breathe deeply while the wrist Emily’d scent marked before I’d left for Jackson just before dawn—right after Beau’d gone to work the cattle—is near my lips. The vanilla is so much fucking better than the synthetic substitute. Sweet and with just a bite of possessive need. It makes me want to run back to Creek Falls and find her while she does the administrative work of running Misty Mountain with Melissa.
Instead, I clear my throat.
“Yeah, it’s helping,” I say.
The small storefront of the studio the NBRA is using for the interview comes into view. Nerves tighten my chest and try to close off my throat. I swallow down the lump.
“It, uh, also came with a surprise.”
Lance raises an eyebrow and holds the door open for me.
The studio is dark woods and white linens. A small sofa with green pillows and a brick wall behind it sits across from two tan suede chairs with a small round table between them. There’s a larger coffee table in the center of the furniture, stained a rustic oak. It’s like a perfectly curated farmhouse living room. No one’s waiting for us here, though there’s a sheet of paper on the smaller table. Lance walks deeper into the space, turning down a hallway tucked behind the brick decorative wall.
“What’s that?” he asks, holding his hand out to an unmarked door.
This room is much less polished, the seats worn but more comfortable. I ignore the vanity and large mirror that take up one wall, in favor of dropping into one of the dark blue velvet chairs. I tilt my head back, trying to decide the best way to phrase it. Lance settles in the seat next to me and pulls out his phone.
It’s always been easy to admit things point-blank with Lance. He’s been there with me the last five years, helping me navigate the semi-pro circuits and cementing my place in the pro circuit two seasons ago. I’ve always been able to trust him with my deepest secrets and greatest worries, and so I don’t pussyfoot the news.
“I have a daughter.”
His eyes are wider than saucers as his gaze whips from his phone to me. “What?”
I nod and take off the cowboy hat, letting it dangle from my hand. It’s the designer one I wear any time I’m doing something related to riding. It’s custom made by one of my sponsors. Forthe first time, I wish I could wear the one I’ve worn the last several years working the cattle in Creek Falls, the light tan that’s sun stained and with the frayed edging. It’s molded to my head in a way this one’s never managed despite the luxury fabrics and hand craftsmanship.
“Yeah,” I say. “Her name is Penelope, but they call her Penny. She turned one on Friday.”
“And you’re sure it’s?—”
I cut him off. “I’m sure.”
The resemblance is uncanny as all hell.
Lance doesn’t say anything for a long time, long enough I let my eyes close and my hat drop to the floor.
“She apparently tried to tell me when she found out,” I continue. “It was after I was doxxed and my phone had to be completely redone. She…” My throat tightens, but I breathe through the emotion. It’s easier this time. Getting to spend yesterday with Penny and Beau helps soften the hurt. So does knowing I’d woken up in their bed the last two days, both of their bodies pressed against mine. “She sent me messages through social media channels. When I didn’t answer, the other person we’d been fooling around with stepped up. They’re raising her together.”
Lance curses. “All right. I’ll look into how they were missed.”
“Thank you.”
“Yeah, man. Of course. We’ll keep June light, then. Give you as much time there as we can manage. You good with flying out to things? Or you want to try to keep them here?”
“I’d rather travel than have the world descend on Creek Falls. When it was just me…” I shrug. “I’d rather try to keep them from having to deal with the public backlash until they’re ready for it.”
“Sounds good.”
My skin tightens, a lesser version of the horrible pain I’ve felt the last couple weeks. I press my wrist to my lips, soaking in her scent again.
