Page 126 of Range
“I’d say that pussy must be on another level. Not my level, of course, but like, some other level. Because most women can’t get a burger out of a man these days without being considered a gold digger, signing up for immediate torture, or finding themselves in compromising situations. I don’t know what’s more ludicrous. The audacity of men or the fact that the men with said audacity don’t have any damn gold to dig.”
“Rewind. Not your level?”
“You heard me, girl. You heard everything I said.”
“Rhea raised a very delusional girl who lives in her delusional world.”
“If that makes you feel better, pooh.”
Chatter continued as my stomach began to turn. Nausea quieted me. I was no longer able to contribute to the conversation. I was physically and mentally incapable.
I closed my eyes, hoping to regain my composure. Instead, the darkness began spinning. My body grew warmer as the seconds elapsed.
Sweat beads began to form on my skin. I reopened my eyes to find that nothing had changed. Laughter surrounded me. But so did discomfort. I placed my napkin on the table and stood.
“Ex– Excuse me, ladies.”
The words felt like a pop quiz. I wasn’t prepared. I hardly had the strength. And I felt as though I’d fail with each syllable.
Cli–ck.
Cla–ck.
My steps were slow. Each was a new challenge.
Cli–ck.
Cla–ck.
My chin dipped. My head hung. Vomit piled in my mouth. I pulled my lips in, hoping to keep it at bay.
I pushed open the restroom door. The first toilet became my saving grace.
“Urrrrrrrrrrrrgh. Urrrrrrgh. Urrrrrrrrrrgh. Urrgh. Urrrrrrgh.”
I released all I’d eaten into the bowl.
“Urrrrrrgh. Urrrrrrrrrrgh. Urrgh.”
The water was no longer clear. My hands pressed against the walls of the stall, keeping me from falling forward.
“Urrrrrrgh. Urrgh. Urrrrrrrrrrrgh.”
Relief washed over me as I dangled above the bowl. My breath hiked in my chest as the tears welled in my eyes. I didn’t stop them from falling. I didn’t have the strength.
I wanted nothing more than to climb into my bed. Weakness consumed me. Despair loomed in the air. There was no sunshine. Only clouds and heavy rain.
I rested my back on the door of the stall. With the back of my hand, I cleared my face. It was useless. Tears continued to fall. When it became too much to bear, I placed a hand over my mouth, silently weeping into my palm.
What have I done?I asked as if the answer wasn’t clear.
My life was falling together and apart simultaneously. I was too far in to stop it. To stop anything.
Focus, baby.
Chemistry’s voice brought about change. I squared my shoulders and released a steady breath. Now was not the time to crumble. Now was not the time to cry.
I pulled the latch of the door backward and opened it. A familiar face greeted me. Against the wall, just outside of my stall, Rome stood with her arms folded over her chest. I stood motionless. My nostrils flared with emotion.
