Page 4 of Guarding Over You
But that was Billy. Always had a weakness of losing control to anything other than himself. Whether it was sex, booze, or drugs. Something always called the shots and killed the man she’d once loved.
“Why is your face red?”
“Because it’s windy out,” she lied. “And you know that happens.”
Her daughter was too young to question these things. Too young to carry the weight of worry on her small shoulders. The fear that Arden lived with. The jumpiness that didn’t want to leave her presence.
But innocence didn’t make life any kinder. It didn’t stop the fear from touching, and now it was her job to keep Gracie safe from any more of it.
“That means I can’t go out and play after dinner?”
“You can,” she said, forcing warmth into her voice. “Why don’t you help me unload the food and put it away? Since you picked most of it out in the store, you might as well see where it belongs.”
Gracie offered a shy, almost hesitant smile. More confident than before, but still guarded. Her daughter’s laughter had faded a year ago, replaced by a careful watchfulness that made Arden’s chest tighten. Her happy, carefree little girl had been chipped away and reshaped by someone else’s lack of control.
Fucking Billy.
Arden gritted her teeth, swallowing the anger that wanted to roar. The guilt that always threatened to rise that she’d allowed this to happen. That she didn’t protect her daughter by leaving sooner.
But one thing was certain—she wouldn’t let it reach Gracie again.
They put the food away in their new home in silence. Silence had become her enemy when years ago it’d been her best friend in marriage.
“Can we have grilled cheese for dinner?”
“We can,” she said, putting her hand on her daughter’s shoulder, then turning her and squatting so they were eye level. “Are you okay? There isn’t anything to worry about.”
“I thought Daddy was yelling at you.” That shy, withdrawn voice, the terrified one that woke up screaming from a deep sleep that her father was going to hurt her—yeah, it wouldn’t leave as fast as she wanted it to.
“He wasn’t,” she said. “I promise. Remember, Daddy is getting better now. He hasn’t yelled at you in months, has he?”
Gracie shook her head, her two blonde braids that had been resting over her shoulders now on her back. “No. He’s been nice. We have fun.”
She let out a breath. She knew those things. “That’s right. You do. Daddy has a sickness, but he’s getting better. But for now it has to be this way. What did I tell you before?”
“That I can’t be around him unless Ms. Julie or you are with me.”
Ms. Julie was the court appointed staff sitting in on the visits. “That’s right. It’s all good now. I promise you. Let’s make those grilled cheese sandwiches.”
“With chips?” Gracie asked, the smile now filling her face.
“With chips,” she said, nodding her head.
Gracie went into her arms for a hug. Arden stood and picked her daughter up and held her tighter. They were all getting there. Slowly, but moving just the same.
“I love you, Mom.”
“I love you too, sweetie.”
“I want to love Dad again.”
The pain in those words twisted a knife in her gut. She forced the words out, “You don’t have to stop loving him, but that doesn’t mean he’s worthy of that love just yet.”
Gracie put her head down and squeezed tighter in a death grip for a moment, then let go and wiggled to get down.
“I’m going to get Marshall. He can eat with us.”
Arden smiled at the way her daughter liked to include her plush orangutan toy in everything. “Guess I need to make an extra sandwich for him.”
