Page 23 of Broken Track
He glances at me, his expression unreadable for a moment, then looks down at his hands, a sigh escaping his lips. "I don’t know, B. I’m... trying to figure some stuff out."
I swallow, pushing the lump in my throat down. "I get it. You’re busy with school and the racing season. I don’t want to complicate things."
He looks up at me then, his gaze softening, but there’s still a distance I can’t ignore. “It’s not that simple. But we can’t go back to how it was, right? Things are changing, Izzy. And I don’t know what to do with it.”
It hits me then. He isn’t talking about school or racing. He’s talking about us. I’m terrified to admit I feel the same way. I want more, but neither of us is brave enough to take that step.
So we do what we always do. We focus on the cars. We work on the engines, get our hands dirty, and pretend the tensionbetween us doesn’t exist. But inside, something is shifting. Something is about to break, and I’m not sure either of us is ready for it.
Chapter Twelve
Xavier
Graduation day should feel bigger than this. It should feel monumental, like a finish line, a victory lap. But all I feel is restless. Like I’m standing on the edge of something, waiting for the checkered flag to drop, though I don’t know what race I’m running anymore.
The ceremony drags on, but the moment I spot Izzy in her cap and gown, a few rows ahead of me, laughing at something one of her friends says, my chest tightens. She looks happy. Free. And all I can think about is how many times I’ve fucked up with her.
I clap when her name is called. I watch as she walks across the stage with that same determined stride she’s always had, as if she owns every damn step. I want to tell her I’m proud of her, but the words feel too small for how I really feel.
When it’s my turn, I cross the stage, grab my diploma, and hear the cheers. Some from my family. Some from friends. But the one voice I search for is hers. When I find her in the crowd, she’s clapping for me, her smile real. No hesitation. No second-guessing.
God, she has no idea what she does to me.
The celebration tonight is loud, wild, and packed. Everyone from our school shows up at Nolan’s place. Someone cranks the music too high. Someone else starts a beer pong tournament. There’s a bonfire in the backyard, and people are already half-drunk, clinging to each other like summer’s already here to burn away whatever’s left of high school.
Izzy’s here, and that should be enough to make this night feel right. But it doesn’t. I keep catching her watching me, and I know she sees them, the girls. The ones who keep trying to get my attention. The ones I’ve let distract me for months.
I tell myself it was a way to get my mind off her, off the fact that I can’t have her. But standing here now, watching her across the party, I know I’ve been lying to myself.
Lisa loops an arm around my neck, pressing against me. She’s got that look in her eyes, the one that says she expects me to follow her upstairs.
I don’t want to, but I let her pull me toward the house anyway because old habits die hard. Because I’m a coward. Because every time I see Izzy look away, like it physically hurts her to watch me with someone else, I feel like the biggest piece of shit alive.
The room Lisa drags me into smells of cheap perfume and something artificial, like she sprayed too much air freshener before dragging me in here. She pushes me back onto the bed, straddling me, her hands moving fast and eager.
I close my eyes. Try to focus. Try to make this work, but the second she kisses my neck, my mind betrays me. I don’t see Lisa. I don’t feel Lisa.
It’s Izzy. Her hands, her lips, her body pressed against mine, warm and real, everything I want but can’t have.
A low groan slips from my throat before I can stop it. “Izzy…”
Lisa freezes. My whole body locks up.
Fuck. I shove her off me, heart hammering in my chest. “I can’t do this.”
Lisa glares, hair messy, breath uneven. “Are you serious right now?”
I run a hand through my hair, already reaching for my shirt. “Yeah.”
“Unbelievable,” she mutters, climbing off the bed. “You know what? I should’ve known. You’ve been pining over her all damn year.” I don’t say anything. She’s right. I grab my jacket and get the hell out of there.
The night air is cool against my overheated skin as I make my way back to the party. My head’s a mess. My pulse still pounds from whatever the hell happened in there.
Izzy’s standing by the fire, talking to Nolan. She looks up when she sees me, her expression unreadable. I can’t do this anymore. I can’t keep using other girls to drown out the one I truly want. I need to fix this. I need her.
I take a deep breath and decide. No more distractions. No more running. It’s time to fight for her.
Racing season has begun, and Izzy and I are slipping back into old routines. The roar of engines still echoes in my ears, and the scent of burning fuel and fresh dirt hangs thick in the air. The track’s energy is electric, buzzing through my veins like a drug I can’t get enough of. My heartbeat is settling back to normal when my eyes find her.
